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Grump grump grump.

This is day SEVENTEEN of the sneeze fest. You know how when you sneeze a few times, it's kind of a chills-inducing, good feeling? Your whole body is involved? And then it very quickly stops being that? And you have to look out for things you might kick over because you're sneezing so damn hard that a leg flies up?

I am not infected with a bacteria. I do not have a cold. This is a virus, or something random in the atmosphere, or simply my body signally that I am about to shut down completely in a matter of days, turning into an instant sack of goo. (If I die, please fight over my garden. And everyone can dig up ONE PLANT to have.) Steam doesn't help. Hot chile-infested food doesn't help. AN ENTIRE SCOOP OF WASABI DOESN'T HELP. Nasal spray is something I try to not use because it's habit forming. (And makes things worse in the long run.)

Clearly, my only choice is for me to hire a plumber to jam a snake up there and find out why my sinuses hate me. (If things don't get better by tomorrow, I'm going back to my ENT that did my surgery a few years ago to see if maybe my remaining sinuses have collapsed or something.) I AM FALLING APART IN MY OLD AGE HALP.

So because I'm grumpy (and gross and red nosed and broken, I am going to talk about two Unpopular Opinions - given how non-mainstream these ideas seem to be these days.

1. I think it's really awful to post to Tumblr a complaint about, say, a story, and then tag that story so that the author finds it - because you're using their story title/handle as a tag. I think it's DREADFULLY RUDE to do that.

PRE-EMPTIVE STRIKE: those that say "get a thicker skin" blah blah "if you were a published author" yadda. Let me stop you right there. Because a fat paycheck does a LOT to help an author get thicker skin. Fanfic writers get nada. They do it out of a need to share their love of something, and it is FREE.

Protip: don't use the author's tag to be awful. Or if you do? Don't be surprised if one day they call you to the mat for your shitty manners. :)

2. I really really REALLY hate when people comment to a story with "I want to bash their head in" or "I want to smack so and so" or "I want to hit" etc. It smacks (hurr) of not having enough of a vocabulary to express yourself, for one, and two - as a former victim of domestic violence, I automatically cringe when I hear "smacking heads" etc. Can't you use a better expression? Can't you actually express thoughts in a meaningful, adult way? Two year olds smack because they don't know how to tell you they're unhappy. You better be older than two if you're reading this. Or you better hie thee to MIT and become the World's Smartest Baby by obtaining a Ph.D.

I am quickly becoming a pariah, and I think I'm cool with that. [/curmudgeon that is also a really loyal friend. Like a pit bull. And I've had these things happen to me, and it filled me with sads. D:]

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to kick things over from this sneeze I feel building....


( 39 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 20th, 2012 04:06 pm (UTC)
The sinus thing sucks so much! I hope if you do go to your doc that he can give some input on whether that surgery thing needs a tweak or something, or whether there's anything you can do. Because seventeen days of sneezing, too much for sure!

Do not turn into goo!

*generates a containment field around you just in case*

*has been watching too much Doctor Who*

And yiiiikes, people are doing call-outs on tumblr to fanfic authors now? I mean. I personally feel like that's BEGGING for the author/author's friends to turn up and throw down. It is/was one thing on LJ when it's all oblique references and the person turns up and is like, "...shut up?" but another to, you know, wave a freaking flag and be like, "HEY, OVER HERE, I THINK YOU'RE AN ASS, COME SEE WHYYYYYY!"

If you're a pariah from those folks, well. All I can say is you're in the best possible company! <3
Aug. 20th, 2012 04:24 pm (UTC)
If I had - well, you know signs that this was some type of sinus infection, that would be easy to fix (even though I don't want to be on antibiotics again this year, if I can help it.)

UGH. I am having seismic collapses in my head! D: We'll see if loads of fluids and nothing but lounging around (ugh) will help.

And can you believe that people do that? I had people talking about a story I wrote several months back in ways like, "UGH I hate all of them." or "why is [character] being so awful/stupid?" and a few "FUCK YOU" posts. Like, nothing but that. And my story tag.


It is the most baffling thing EVER. And I am a-ok with people who behave that way not liking me. The feeling is mutual, you know?

(OH!! And one time someone had a flocked post about my story - which would have been absolutely fine, as it's their journal. BUT LEFT ME ON THE FLOCKED LIST.)

*hugs you*

Edited at 2012-08-20 04:25 pm (UTC)
Aug. 20th, 2012 05:01 pm (UTC)
Probably a stupid/obvious question, but... have you considered that you might have acquired an allergy? Because a similarly epic sneezefest was how that started for me. And moved on to asthma from there, from which I'd ideally see you spared. ;) So maybe have that checked, if you haven't already?
Aug. 20th, 2012 05:05 pm (UTC)
No, no, not a stupid or obvious question. I will say that after Day 1 I examined everything in the house - nothing new, no new laundry detergent, etc. I've been tracking the outdoor air quality to see if the wildfires north of us might be causing it, etc.

I would love to be spared asthma, too! If I can't knock out this congestion today, I'm off to the ENT tomorrow to nip this in the bud. Cross my heart! <3
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Aug. 20th, 2012 05:27 pm (UTC)
If you plant tomatoes, I get to dig that plant up! My tomatoes! MINE!

Aug. 20th, 2012 05:39 pm (UTC)
I HAVE NO TOMATOES! The mockingbirds ate them all. :(
Aug. 20th, 2012 06:59 pm (UTC)
I heartily approve of your stripe of curmudgeonry. Fighting for people to have decent manners is a noble struggle.
Aug. 20th, 2012 07:27 pm (UTC)
It's amazing how pervasive this behavior is, too. I should be used to it by now - I just don't WANT to be used to it. =/
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Aug. 20th, 2012 07:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, it's not specifically me on Tumblr (although I've gotten my fair share of hate and rudeness there) - it's seeing authors I enjoy and know to be unbelievably gifted writers, and finding their stories being ripped apart by imbeciles that don't seem to realize that by tagging their post with the author and story title, they're doing the internet version of dropping a bag of flaming poo on someone's front step.

UGH, the "fuck you!" as a term of endearment - I do NOT get it. I guess i'm old and lame by believing that words have meaning?

I think a good name for a community for older, mannered fen would be "Blue Bird Special." :D The Boca Raton of fandom! :)
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Aug. 20th, 2012 07:44 pm (UTC)
It's obviously a demon trying to escape from your body.

You need to divorce this fandom and be seduced by a new fandom pool guy. Hire help and sleep with them! What? I don't know.

Why can't kids today make a post making general observations about how they don't like x, y or z in fanfic? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TUMBLR IS! WHERE AM I?!
Aug. 20th, 2012 08:02 pm (UTC)
I think that is the only logical conclusion one could make, D.

I DO, I DO. I just...don't feel fannish about ANYTHING ELSE. Pah. Eh, I have a handful of people I can talk to about the show, so there's that much at least.

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Aug. 20th, 2012 08:05 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA. (And I've clicked on your pictures on FB - I need to like them all over the place. I'd like you. I'd like you so hard.)

JFC, the hitting/violence b.s. What the hell? I want to walk around with a water bottle sprayer and spritz these idiots in the face every time they do something rotten. "No![spritz] No! [spritz]" It worked on my cat.

People seem to not want conflict or tension! I see comment after comment, "NOOO! Just tell them how you feel and then kiss!" It doesn't WORK that way!

LOL I just might have to write that for you, Sue! If only my fic weren't broke.

Hey, while you're cuddling them (and truth - y'all are TIGHT! Like 10 toes in a sock!) maybe you could prop them up with sticks or empty Aqua Net cans while you're at it?
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Aug. 20th, 2012 08:45 pm (UTC)
I am right there with you re: manners are for everyone. I've taught my kids since they were little, "Manners are free, so there's no excuse to not have any."

That sort of talk/behavior is so bratty and ugly and just makes them look stupid. Expressing yourself with a range of words and emotions? There's a way to look intelligence! I cringe at the "get a load of this asshole!" sort of comments when they find someone attractive (See: Darren Criss.)

BAFFLING. I find it baffling and quite truthfully upsetting. I'm just going to do everything in my power to avoid that stuff. It's not like those people want me hanging around with my tsk tsk behavior, I'm sure.
Aug. 20th, 2012 08:49 pm (UTC)
This is why I don't read tumblr.

But you know I agree with you. Then again, today and yesterday seems to be the time for people to come to my LJ to tell me that they don't like my fic/characters, so why go to tumblr when I can just stay at home? :D

If we like something, why can't we just say we like that, and if we don't... why don't we think about to whom we might be telling it to what end?
Aug. 20th, 2012 09:09 pm (UTC)
I actually removed it from my toolbar to take away any temptation.

I am still BLOWN AWAY by how rude people have been!! First, you know that I feel Near Misses is utterly outstanding. The childishness demands for the story to go the way they want is just...ffs, the entitlement is ASTOUNDING. Who are these people's parents and why did they fail so fundamentally in teaching them how to communicate with people!?

And I believe that people can have their own opinions. I certainly understand that people aren't going to always share mine. I just don't need them always invading my space to TELL ME HOW THEY DON'T SHARE IT. (Or linking me to it, etc.) And the same for people I care about - why be so rude?
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Aug. 20th, 2012 09:16 pm (UTC)
Have you tried a sinus rinse?
Aug. 20th, 2012 09:25 pm (UTC)
You can't use a sinus rinse when you're congested like I am, unfortunately. I do love my Sinus Rinse for other things, though!
Aug. 20th, 2012 09:54 pm (UTC)
Nearly three weeks of sneezing with no end in sight is way too long! The allergies have started kicking in and I've been just this side of miserable for less than a week and I am a bear to live with! You have every reason to grump.

Bad behavior should be called out and if that makes you a pariah, count me on Team Pariah!
Aug. 21st, 2012 12:44 pm (UTC)
Is the cedar elm starting to go bananas down there? (I usually hear from my sister in law that it has, though.) I am just ready to not have tissues on me constantly. I feel like someone's Nana with a tissue secreted up my sleeve "for emergencies."

I just don't get the need to tell a FANFIC author "I don't like it." Hit the fucking X and move on. Do you know how many stories I get partway through and then back out of because they're not well-written? MOST OF THEM. But I do not harsh people's squee, because this is not the Harvard Press/Simon & Schuester.
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Aug. 20th, 2012 10:21 pm (UTC)
Tumblr is a funny beast.

I started reading fanfiction back in the day of Yahoo! Groups. That was the ONLY way I could read fanfic at the time...fanfiction.net was in its mere infancy. Yahoo!Groups were a brilliant way of reading, and we would sometimes wait WEEKS between updates for stories (this was back in the Harry Potter fandom, when I read multi-chaptered, future!verse fics).

Then I graduated past ff.net to Livejournal, where fic writing was more often, but longer, and of better quality. Reviews were structured, thought out (well, for me, I'd leave one full of "kxdjgfjg!", then I'd leave a 2 page structured review!) and CONCRIT was the word (if it was asked for, of course).

I've talked to you before, Stoney, about concrit, and the nature of reviews, and I massively believe in the practise of...if I like it, I review and rec. If I don't, I just click the little 'x' in the corner of my screen. After all, Disney taught me "if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all".

Tumblr is a clusterfuck of teenagers not knowing the general nettiquette that us older folk have grown accustomed to (I'm nearly 27, so not as old as some people floating around, but I'm from that era nonetheless).

I am guilty of using "fuck" as a term of endearment, only in the place where I feel it's necessary. When I review stories, I praise and I structure, leaving polite, gushing reviews, and the ONLY concrit bits I point out would be things like...uhm, if I felt something didn't fit in a certain place (but then I'd always try and reason it out with the author, just in case I'd missed a meaning).

And this is what I'm taking with me through me writing my epic story right now...I'm writing for ME. I'm not writing to please the readership. I'm not writing what they want to see. I'm taking the characters on a journey that I WANT to take them on, and if people don't like it, I'd hope they were decent enough not to slag me off all over the internet.

Aug. 21st, 2012 12:52 pm (UTC)
Oh, I go way back, too. (I've got a decade and change on you. I'm old! You have still have your youth! And collagen in your skin!) I think the longest I've waited for a chapter was two years? BRUTAL. Oh, so brutal. Esp. as it was a brilliantly written story. (Then again, I started reading The Dark Tower in the early 80s and had to wait until almost 2000 for the conclusion!)

Concrit is one thing - if you're building a story and posting as you go, concrit is especially helpful. But not all concrit is equal, and writers should reserve the right to pick and choose who they feel is providing the best feedback in that sense.

Fastforward to now, where I spend months writing a story and working line by line with an accomplished academic (and fabulous writer in her own right). My words are vetted - far more so than most writers in fandom (let alone some published authors, and I'm looking at you, Charlaine Harris.) Now, that's not to say that I write perfectly - I'd be the last one to ever say that. I just don't need some 19 year old in her first Creative Writing course at college telling me how to write.

And I don't want a bunch of immature readers that don't understand that stories NEED CONFLICT to be a STORY to bitch and moan that the two main characters didn't just immediately look at one another and fall in love, then end, 100K words of them skipping through meadows. That's not a good story. That's Twilight.

I just find a huge portion of the Glee fandom to be rude, immature, unable to distinguish the wheat from the chaff, and seem to constantly have their hand out, begging for more without even savoring the bite they had.

This isn't to say that EVERYONE is like that, not at all. But these types seem to be the most vocal. I find it rude, unpleasant, and when I see authors I admire get comments indicating that they hate something, that they want to perform violence on characters, etc., it just makes me not want to be a part of it AT ALL.

Which I know isn't a hardship for these people in the first place. I'm no Big Name Fan that has a finger in every fandom pie. I'm just expressing my dissatisfaction in my own space (and usually get called a bitch for it, too.) =|
... - forgiveninasong - Aug. 22nd, 2012 12:25 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Aug. 22nd, 2012 01:08 am (UTC) - Expand
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Aug. 21st, 2012 09:57 am (UTC)
Sounds like your warranty might be up, Stoney darling...


Also, can we please set up the Blue Bird Special Home for Curmudgeonly Pariahs? I'd like an ocean-view room...
Aug. 21st, 2012 12:53 pm (UTC)
Clearly I should have bought the extended warranty! :)

Well, the Lanai Room will be open at Hey, Don't Judge Me the day after the show airs? :D
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... - stoney321 - Aug. 21st, 2012 02:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - thestoryofelle - Aug. 22nd, 2012 07:22 am (UTC) - Expand
( 39 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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