1. I went on an audition this morning, something I've not done in AGES.
2. not since my last audition for a movie called "Butter."
3. and guess what movie release was just announced today?
4. and what has an amazing cast? (Hugh Jackman!! Rob Cordry! Ty Burrell!!)
5. and who has two thumbs and didn't get a final callback? (hint: me)
6. But if you're going to lose a part, losing it to Alicia Silverstone is pretty sweet, I guess?
7. (But why were they bothering to audition me when they had HER in the works?)
8. But back to me keeping my "husband" from my delicious guacamole.
* It's always interesting to see how people react when you go to a marketing building for an audition, as opposed to a studio. Regular people are SO FASCINATED by these shlubs coming in with headshots. Someone in the elevator asked me in a breathless voice, "Are you an actress?"
Yes! And that means I am hungry and never work! How's that steady paycheck of yours, Ms. Office Exec? And the lack of being judged out loud on your looks? (that really is the worst. Or when you hear back that they didn't like x, y, z about your face/body.)
* New actors. (As in, new to the audition process.) PROTIP: get to the audition on time. And with five minutes to spare. And dress the part. And understand the difference between a 30 second spot (which means 20 seconds of actor-time, 10 seconds of VO) and a feature.
(Translation: my "husband"- a very sweet man - didn't need to "connect" with his inner mind or whatever to ask me for some of my guacamole. Just ask me. This isn't Hamlet. No one needs to see your inner turmoil over snack foods.)
* Unprofessional actors. I've seen a woman bring her 3 year old on an audition before, expecting the child to remain unattended in the lobby. NO. No. You cancel that audition, lady. The hell?
* short co-stars. Guys? I'm 5' 6". Average for a lady. There have only been THREE TIMES where I've worked with a man that was as tall or taller than me. Out of all the jobs I've had. Three. Two of them were in the same project (Blood on the Highway.) Most guys are 5'3" to 5'5". Jon Stewart? 5' 4". Dustin Hoffman? Barely that. They have huge heads (esp. for TV actors) and tend to look like they're normal height (say, 5'8" or so.) When you have a tall guy - Will Ferrell, for example is just under 6' 3" - they look ENORMOUS.
Liz? Wasn't it you that said Cameron Diaz was actually 5'5" or something? She's listed on imdb at 5'9", snerk. Probably to help her co-stars out. IDK I FIND THIS STUFF FASCINATING. (And I have honest measurements on my card. BOY IS THAT RARE.)
* Red heads. Next time you turn on your TV, look at the ladies in commercials. 90% are red heads. There is a girl in my agency that ALWAYS gets the part if we go head to head. Guess what color her hair is? (Yes, I realize I'm saying that I'm every bit as talented as she is. Because I am. *beams*) Hey, this industry lives to beat you down, you better like yourself, because no one else does!
Look, all I want out of life is a 1-800-CONTACTS "My brand!" commercial in my career, okay? LOOK. LOOK WITH YOUR SPECIAL EYES.
Commercials can be awful to audition for. There's no real "acting" involved. It's looking like something, for the most part. When you actually get to DO something, it's awesome. But then, I wouldn't have turned down the Flo gig for Progressive, because she is rolling in coin from those. National ads that go to air, print, and internet? And become a series? Cha-ching!
I did get to go first, which is awesome, because the director laughed pretty hard at me (which was the goal, lol) and had my partner change it up, but had me do "everything again just like you did." <-- which means I nailed it. Let's hope I look the way the marketing people ultimately want. LET'S HOPE. internet pls.
HEY WHO WANTS TO TALK WHITE COLLAR WITH ME?
Spoilers possible ahead, up to Season 2 ep. 4!! BUT PLEASE DON'T SPOIL ME FOR WHAT'S TO COME!!
So I really enjoy the hell out of this show. It's just...fun. First off, I would watch Matt Bomer read a paper. I like all of the leads, honestly, but MATT. BOMER. I almost have to put a pinhole in cardboard to look at him. The man is nuclear-levels of charming.
Neal and Peter are my bro-tp. Peter is so delightfully pleased with what Neal can do, it's hilarious. He practically giggles when Neal does something sneaky or borderline illegal, which is hilarious as he's an FBI AGENT. I love Mozzie, love El, heck, I even love the side characters in the Federal Bee Eye.
I never knew I was into capers and heists, but looks like I am. Thank you, Matt!
The last episode I saw was the one with the professor and his students as a gang of art thieves, copying Neal's style. I loved how excited he was to be at that level, one, and I love how secretly gleeful Peter was that Neal was at that level. And then he had to play it off like he was irritated. I don't know if it's a choice Tim Dekay is making for Peter, or if he just can't help himself, but his HUGE GRIN for Neal any time they're together is the cutest thing on the planet.