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I was riding a high from yesterday in support of the Dallas Pride Parade and my son taking the last (and huge) step in claiming his sexuality and no longer feeling like he doesn't need to be open to anyone and everyone about who he is.

And today he wore a Human Rights Campaign shirt that we got at Pride yesterday to his school. At 8:35am I got a call from him saying he was being made to either change his shirt or wear it inside out. He hung up to get to his next class on time, so I didn't have time to find out what person on staff to yell at, but when I get him after school today I'll find out exactly who to direct my wrath towards.

What shirt did he have on? Was it the one for Astroglide or Ball-Gags-A-Go-Go? HARDLY.

And if this is in violation of the school's dress code, which is this: Clothing, including tee shirts, which displays, sex, violence, drugs, tobacco, alcohol, death, gang or hate slogans or pictures are prohibited, then I fail to see how it's in violation.

Oh, I'm sure it's because it "displays, sex [sic]." Which, if that's the case, then so does this:

And jewelry/accessories would also fall under clothing, which means this is also in violation:

Because a shirt that promotes equality for marriage (which is what the shirt my son wore represents) means that marriage as a concept promotes/displays sex.

Which means anything about marriage period is in violation. I mean, I know that when I think about someone being married (which I can't help when I see two people wearing wedding rings) all I have in mind is all of the sweaty contortions they get up to in the bedroom.

I am not in the mood for this level of stupid, I just really am not.

And I'm really proud of my son. And really angry with his school.


( 67 comments — Leave a comment )
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Sep. 17th, 2012 05:16 pm (UTC)
You know how I feel about this, your (amazing) son, the school, and just everything, but if I lived closer I'd totally be riding shotgun with you to go over and do some serious ass-kicking.
Sep. 17th, 2012 05:30 pm (UTC)
Your measured anger is a great example for me, because you know that my first instinct is to go all mama-bear on these people. I need more info before I do.

I mean, before I make a reasonable counterpoint and win everyone over and we all cry rainbows. :)
... - flaming_muse - Sep. 17th, 2012 08:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Sep. 17th, 2012 05:31 pm (UTC)
Excellent reminder for me, THANK YOU. If I can't get my hands on the info, you are the first person I'll reach out to - I really appreciate that.

*squishy hugs of gratitude*
Sep. 17th, 2012 05:21 pm (UTC)
The school just isn't prepared to deal with the controversy this will generate among the students. Especially in Texas.

Y'know, high schoolers being the very embodiments of self-control and restraint. /sarcasm *cough*MittensRomney*cough*

Congratulations to your son.
Sep. 17th, 2012 05:33 pm (UTC)
There is actually a fairly large LGBT community that is out at my son's school. Everything from the L to T to pan, which is impressive in this very Christian/Republican community we live in.

I have a feeling it's a particular individual, but I need more info from my son before I come down like a fist on anyone.

And THEN I will come down like a fist. :)
Sep. 17th, 2012 05:26 pm (UTC)


And then please tell us all about it. :-)

And kudos to your son. Change is in the air, but that's still an extremely brave thing to do, especially in Texas. I applaud his courage and I'm glad that he's comfortable in his own skin.

Now I'm off to check that my ACLU membership is still current.
Sep. 17th, 2012 05:34 pm (UTC)
I SHALL. And then I shall. :)

I'm glad he's comfortable in his own skin, too. I'm just glad he's made a Personal Statement that enabled him to find others like himself - they have been banding together for a few weeks, now, and I'm proud of all of them.
Sep. 17th, 2012 05:26 pm (UTC)

The very word gay means sex? Whatever. Yes I would fight them on this BS. Straight kids flaunt their heterosexuality constantly in school in a zillion ways, subtle and overt.

Sep. 17th, 2012 05:35 pm (UTC)
Yeah, is that utter bullshit or what?!

I'm not turning my cheek to this; it's too ridiculous.
Sep. 17th, 2012 05:33 pm (UTC)
I am super proud and wanting to hug ALL the Stoney's.

I want to bash the school.

Sep. 17th, 2012 05:47 pm (UTC)
We are all pretty hugable. :)

I just called his school counselor (a woman I adore) and let her know what happened to at least start a paper trail, so to speak.
... - turnonmyheels - Sep. 17th, 2012 05:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 17th, 2012 05:39 pm (UTC)

In my opinion, it's certainly a misuse of the school dress code if it means policing content that they feel uncomfortable with. School dress codes have their place but they are doing it all wrong. Go get them!

Your son is an awesome human being for wearing that shirt to school. Here in liberal Europe, I don't think that there would be many boys brave enough to wear that shirt at the school where I'm teaching. (Other schools may be different, but we're not exactly a haven of diversity or very inclusive in that respect.) And German soccer players are so firmly in the closet that the anonymous interview that one of them did caused a huge storm. (Apologies for that very mixed metaphor.) Sure, there would be encouragement from our social worker and teachers at school and even from our politicians :re soccer players, but climate of fear still an issue.

But Texas? I expect that's a whole 'nother ballgame. So, kudos! (edited to acknowledge that I've been showing my Texas prejudice: Still, it doesn't change that it takes a lot of courage to make a statement with that shirt and that clearly, the person who made him change the shirt is WRONG.)

Edited at 2012-09-17 05:49 pm (UTC)
Sep. 17th, 2012 05:58 pm (UTC)
If we were in Dallas-proper, it wouldn't be such a big deal. Dallas as a city is very liberal. We're out in the suburbs with all of the mega-churches and Republicans, though, so it's pretty stifling. Having said that, though, there are strong pockets of diversity in our community that are growing stronger all the time.

We'll get there eventually, but in the meantime, I'm hyper aware (and have been) of the treatment the fringe gets out here. And have no problem with mouthing off. :)

Sep. 17th, 2012 05:46 pm (UTC)
graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, what is WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

I would love to come open a can of whup-ass beside you, or failing that sit in the spectator stands and watch you Mama Bear into better thinking. And HUZZAH for your son feeling comfortable enough to wear that shirt in the first place.

Sep. 17th, 2012 06:00 pm (UTC)
I'm really really wanting to look in the eye whoever said that to my child. Please explain to me, Random Bigot, how marriage equality fits into this specific spectrum of No Nos for clothing?

(He also wears a small pin on his work shirt that reads "Come out, come out wherever you are." with a rainbow around it. :D)
Sep. 17th, 2012 05:57 pm (UTC)
Kudos to your son, and to you for backing him up on this. You're both awesome.

You've reminded me, like I needed reminding, of why I left Texas (and my parents) at 17 like I'd been shot out of a cannon and also of why I am out, in a low-key but unambiguous way, in my own classroom.
Sep. 17th, 2012 06:03 pm (UTC)
To say I'm proud of the teens at my boy's school that are out is an understatement. My son's close friend took his boyfriend to the formal fall dance last year because "Blaine and Kurt went to their prom." It's getting better, even if by small degrees.

It could move a LOT FASTER if bigoted adults would shut their pie holes. (There are some out teachers at the school, too, and I'm pretty proud of them for standing tall - as they should.)
... - heresluck - Sep. 17th, 2012 06:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Sep. 17th, 2012 06:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Sep. 17th, 2012 06:04 pm (UTC)
Can you believe that shit? OH PLEASE TELL ME HOW IT IS IN VIOLATION, SCHOOL PERSON. I dare you. :)
Sep. 17th, 2012 06:03 pm (UTC)
Please to see icon.

And also I would love a transcript of how this goes down. Because see icon.
Sep. 17th, 2012 06:05 pm (UTC)
Oh, there will be all sorts of documentation happening when I figure out who to point my wrath towards.
... - kita0610 - Sep. 17th, 2012 06:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Sep. 17th, 2012 06:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - kita0610 - Sep. 17th, 2012 06:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 17th, 2012 06:10 pm (UTC)
UGH! GOOD LUCK dealing with the school and also they don't know who they are messing with!
Sep. 17th, 2012 06:12 pm (UTC)
THANK YOU and I would like to bring to their attention how shameful it is that they DON'T KNOW ME YET, seeing as I've spent the better part of two years up there advocating for my son as it is!

Sep. 17th, 2012 06:10 pm (UTC)
oh, so much is running through my head right now.

Obviously your son has learned his lessons about equality and fairness from his parents, because he's sure not getting them at school. It doesn't seem to me that this shirt has anything 'verboten'.

It's hard enough being different. This isn't going to make it any less difficult for him.

Go you. And go your son!

If I sound stupid or trite..it's not for any reason other than I don't know what to say. I support your son - and anyone else's - right to be who they are.

Edited at 2012-09-17 06:12 pm (UTC)
Sep. 17th, 2012 06:13 pm (UTC)
We are big believers in fairness and advocacy in our house, and I am very proud of my children for being open and accepting of all people. <3


I am beyond curious as to this administrator's reasoning for why this shirt is "offensive."
Sep. 17th, 2012 06:20 pm (UTC)
I missed your boy's news! Congratulations to him! He is making things easier and better for Dallas LGBT kids as yet unborn. And so are you. <3
Sep. 17th, 2012 06:36 pm (UTC)
<3 Well, this is the first time I've mentioned it in this space, not wanting to divulge personal information about him that he didn't want out in the public, so. :)

He's a good kid. If I can just get him through high school, he'll finally be able to see how great the world is beyond the small-minded tits in his class.
... - alittleacademe - Sep. 17th, 2012 06:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Sep. 17th, 2012 06:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
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Sep. 17th, 2012 06:36 pm (UTC)
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( 67 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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