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Close to giving up (but I won't)

1. It's bad right now. I can't elaborate, but it's just bad and I'm tired of crying and not knowing what's going to happen and not understanding why things are as they are. I'm sorry that's cryptic, but I just can't speak publicly about everything that's happening with my son. But it's bad, and he's scared, and I can't be with him, and it fucking sucks.

2. Because it's bad (and I keep bursting into tears at random moments when I'm finally alone without my daughters) I am just drifting from task to task. And I'm sorry, but that means HDJM is taking a backseat right now. I have no glee to write about Glee. It'll get put up at some point this weekend, but there you go.

3. And there's a part of me that is regretting printing that letter/essay about my son, because I've opened myself up to assholes that want to continue to tell me what I've done wrong or they just want to be assholes, and I do NOT have it in me to deal with that on top of everything else.

Let me just say this: I have an actual, real, HONEST TO GOD life or death situation on my hands, and that life is my son. So if you want to offer up ways that I've handled things wrong, or call me out for your perceived interpretation of the text (oh my god, fuck you Child-Free asshole that someone thinks I'm ranting about you FUCK YOOOOOUUUUUU) or you feel this is a PERFECT TIME to go off on how stereotypical Kurt fucking Hummel is and how that's wrong (I'm sorry I mentioned him, my son happens to have a crush on that character and hey, that was about MY SON) and way to gloss over all of the other LGBT-friendly programs/movies I mentioned....

Let me tell you right now that I am stepping away from my computer to give you ample room to go fuck yourself. I want to make sure that you have all the space you need to do a really good thorough job of it. Really work those fingers in. Make it count. And get through your head that this isn't just some essay, some series of 1s and 0s FOR ME. This is about my SON'S ACTUAL LIFE.

Comments off because I just can't.


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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