What I'm saying is that the recap is up, and because they are surreal, so are my recaps. I won't lie, I have more fun writing them than I do watching the actual show. (Meaning, you don't have to actually watch the show to read.)
They’re talking about an upcoming “girl trip!” to Ojai that Kim is planning. It’s supposed to be a way for the girls to “mend fences” and “let bygones be bygones” and “not devolve into screaming, shrewish harpies” and all I know is that I want Camille [Grammar] to show up with Alison [Du Bois], because she makes all the parties the worst, by which I mean the best. Also, it would be fun to watch Alison cower under the Goddess Yolanda’s gaze. I think it would be like the Nazi melting at the end of Indiana Jones.
Lisa finds out that they have to share rooms, rolls her eyes, and gets one with Brandi. Twin beds, sure, but it’s also a private suite with a mini kitchen, so who’s laughing now? Camille is. Camille is laughing, and I can’t figure out why until I spotted [Friend For Hire/Renfield] Didi under her chair, her proboscis fully extended as she sucks the road dirt from Camille’s bared ankles. If there were night vision goggles, I bet we’d see Didi on the ceiling of Camille’s room that night, clinging to the rafters with her red, red eyes, hissing at everyone for disturbing her Mistress’s slumber.
WHEE! Also, I'm getting Actual Writing Done and that feels amazing. It's been well over a month, so hooray and farewell, blockage!