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Am back from Oklahoma, and sorry, crazydiamondsue, I yee-hawed when I crossed the Red River. Only because I'm Texan through and through, not because I didn't have a great time. Because I did. you took me trolling through the gay district and we laughed about being too square to be able to score some pot, foolishly forgetting that I had speed in my bag....

Sue? Is a fantastic hostess. She made me a wonderful dinner (and cake!! She baked me a cake!!) took me out on the town, hooked me up with uberaeryn, and fed me quesadillas the next day. And everything was Weight Watchers safe. Even the cake! You'd never know it... Everyone harrass her for the recipe, because one big slice was 170 calories and 1.5 grams of fat. Num.

I realized on the drive that this was my first alone road-trip in 10 years. I love driving. I love being on the open road with miles and miles of highway, a great stack of CDs, and an open plan. Once you have kids... Fuggedaboutit. As soon as I got out on open highway headed north, the theme song for the trip hit the speakers: Take Your Momma Out by the Scissor Sisters. I'm going to make a big music post later so y'all can download stuff if you want, BTW. "Gonna get her jacked up on cheap champagne and the let the good times all roll out." It was then that I realized I had a baggie of my son's ADHD medicine in my bag, (a controlled substance - SPEED) as well as hangover medicine, Chasers, and my drag queen CDs out. If I only had some lube and a dildo, it'd be time to partay. Speed? Drink? Drag queens? It would be an enlightening article in the paper should I die in a firey crash...

I do my best thinking when I'm driving. I've had a story that I wanted to be my "great American novel" that I started about the same time I found LJ. Guess which became more time consuming? I kinda lost the idea for that story, as well. I posted a bit of it in secondverse's LJ the other day, and it got me thinking about it again. I also took on a job this year as the editor of the Master Gardener monthly newsletter, and it's far more time-consuming than I thought. But I'm working with real writers. Meaning, PAID writers. The former editor has my dream job: she travels the world and writes up 1500 words on native plant life. Just got back from the Yucatan, and is heading over to India next month. I'm learning about myself, my writing style, and what I WANT to write from this new adventure.

And what DO I want to write? My story about mothers. About the damage and salvation that can happen. And there aren't any vampires in that story. What THAT means is, I'm going to be out in LJ-land less and less. This isn't a big deal, as I am not one of the popular writers, or well-respected writers in any form or fashion. Because I write comedy, and most people don't like comedy. Which is fine. But I saw a story about Jenny Calendar and Lilah Morgan, (?) and I am finding less and less in fandom that compells me to clickity. Which is fine, and not meant as an insult. It just isn't as compelling to me right now as it used to be.

I'm still going to post regularly about my life, check out YOUR journals for what is happening with you, because I care about YOU, and not always the fic. YOU are my friend, and I want to hear about your goings on. If this sounds boring to you, it won't upset me if you thin your herd. Because it's your journal. Read what you want.

I came to LJ to learn how to write again. There are so many people on my flist and in fandom that astound me with their talents, and the fact that they are NOT getting buckets of money. I think ultimately I want that, if I can get it. I want baskets of cash to put words to paper. Probably won't happen, but I'm in my thirties and wanting to FINALLY do something about it. If I fail, at least I fucking tried, you know?

This is sounding self-indulgent - like I'm a bit too big for my britches - but I'm basically conceding the point that the fanfiction I write is not very popular (oh well, it amuses the hell out of me) and I want to tackle that project I've had in mind to do since, well, forever. I'm going to finish my current WIP, because I can't stand an unfinished tale, and I've got an Annie parody for secondverse that I'm really excited about. Oh god. I'm picturing who is going to play Annie and Daddy Warbucks and Miss Hannigan (Is that merriment I hear? DO I hear children laughing?)

[ETA] Just to be clear, I'm just putting this in writing so I have to stick to my guns. I'm not whining to you guys to tell me you love every word I put out here. just so you don't roll your eyes, or something...

And, um, this is what I thought about on my way up and back from hanging with crazydiamondsue and uberaeryn. And Sue? If I could have smuggled your weiner dog and two cats into my bag and gone home with them, I would have. And confidential to uberaeryn: Goldschlager is lovely. Mixed with 6 Sour Apple Martinis and a Dos Equis? I see why you feel sick. I'm a lush. But not hungover...


( 43 comments — Leave a comment )
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Feb. 6th, 2005 10:58 am (UTC)
::loves you:: That's so awesome, tackling your big project. Good for you! And you just know you have a whole horde of panting fangirls ready to beta-read any and every part for you. ;)

Annie? Really? Oh, Lord, I can't wait.
Feb. 6th, 2005 11:03 am (UTC)
holy crap. The love I have for Annie... It's a hard knock life. For us. Carol Burnett was so wonderful in that movie... (Eeep! I auditioned for that when I was 9... Since I didn't tap dance, I didn't get beyond Regionals...)

And now you know my shameful past. Hee! Your icon is GORGEOUS.
Feb. 6th, 2005 11:08 am (UTC)
I also took on a job this year as the editor of the Master Gardener monthly newsletter, and it's far more time-consuming than I thought.

*jumps up and down* Ow, m'boobs. Anyway, that sounds cool editing is in my "Top 10 Jobs I Wanna Have That Aren't the Shit Hellhole Thing I Do Now" list.

This isn't a big deal, as I am not one of the popular writers, or well-respected writers in any form or fashion.

I'll always respect you in the morning, even if my bra is on your head.

Anyhoo, so jellus of the trip and the bondage, ahem, bonding, y'all had. Of course, Goldschlager is evil (I have cinnamon issues) but me and you? There will be "Champion Lush" competitions to be had, ya hear? *starts chugging training*
Feb. 6th, 2005 11:44 am (UTC)
Oh no you don't!! *set up beer bong*

Have to say? Don't like editing. Didn't want the job, but I dropped my fork at a meeting, picked it up, and found everyone clapping. Huh. Right now I have a wanna-be writer that thinks adjectives are the devil, and paragraph breaks are a sign of the apocolypse. And her article is 1500 words. Without a paragraph break. And 10 adjectives.

I just like writin'.
Feb. 6th, 2005 11:30 am (UTC)
I respect the heck out of comedy, it's just that, living as I do with a semi-pro radio comedy guy, I pretty much have used up that portion of my brain, too.

Julia, just sayin'
Feb. 6th, 2005 11:42 am (UTC)
Like I said, no worries. I was a professional comedian for a few years, and baby, that is the most cut-throat industry around. Wore me down. It's much safer here on my PC for my buds. And as I mentioned, it isn't most people's bag.

And I don't read every little thing everyone on my flist writes, so I don't care that a lot of them skip over my stuff.

But now I'm hanging up the silly hat and attempting something Serious. We'll see. Just need to grit my teeth and take the steps. I don't want to end up like my mother - always wishing she did something and whining about all of the reasons why she didn't.
Feb. 6th, 2005 11:53 am (UTC)
I think your new project sounds wonderful. BUT. I love your writing. I adore comedy, and I friended you for the so. damn. funny. and stayed for the awesomeness that is you. So there. :-P

Feb. 6th, 2005 02:29 pm (UTC)
Hee! Heart you tunz, underline, underline. I'm not goingt o stop altogether, I'm just going to chanel my energies into the Big Project that I've been wanting to do for a long time.

Maybe I'll make a comedy filter... I'm big on not spamming flists, because I know how much it bugs me.
... - beadattitude - Feb. 6th, 2005 02:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 6th, 2005 02:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, Mari. Count on you to make me smile and get a "warm fuzzy." I appreciate your compliment, you have no idea how much that means to me!

I've had this dream of being a "real" writer (meaning, paid and published) since I was single digits. I want to see if I can, you know? But I'm not going anywhere...

*hugs you, dances a samba*
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 6th, 2005 02:33 pm (UTC)
I almost stopped everything and focused solely on my story when you were writing for NaMoWriNo (?). It was very inspirational, but the comedy, silly-fic, and ficlets were very theraputic for me then.

And how much do I love my flist for us being able to say that we believe in each other, and even though something isn't our bag, we can see the talent in it?

I'll probably still do the comedy thing, but as Sue and I said over our weekend: wit is the salt of the conversation, not the meal.

(hint: we can push each other to keep at it, in a go, team, go kind of way, if you want...)
(Deleted comment)
... - stoney321 - Feb. 6th, 2005 02:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 6th, 2005 12:56 pm (UTC)
I am so jealous of you - having the balls to go for it. Sure I've mentioned it before, but I've always wanted to write. Trouble is that half the time I'm sure that I can't write for toffee - and the other half I know that I'll never have an original idea.

most people don't like comedy... hello? Were they watching the same shows that I did? But I do know what you mean - it's easier to write dark and angst than light and funny, but it's not easier to read.

Glad you had such a wonderful time, and to hear that you're not just going to leave us. NO!!!! Yes, that's me hanging onto your ankles.

You sound super-positive and I'm really happy for you!
Feb. 6th, 2005 02:36 pm (UTC)
I feel super positive. I feel like I need to do it know, or hang it up, you know? And it's true that most people don't like comedy, and that's fine. Look at the majority of fic in our fandom. You and I see all of the funny in Jossverse, but most fics out there don't have the funny in them. There might be a line, maybe two, but people aren't comfortable writing it, IMO.

Also, most of us out there are filled with the angst or UST and only want to explore that. Look at how many hits a porny/angsty fic will get over something that is just gen. It's okay, that's what is interesting out here.

I'm just wanting to publicy state that I'm channeling my energies into something else, if only to make me stick to my guns, you know?
Feb. 6th, 2005 01:28 pm (UTC)
The road trip sounds like it was awesome! *is jealous* ...and perhaps I shall also badger sue for that recipe...yummy low fat cake...mmmmmmmm... *g*

Good for you to go for your dream. I too want to be a writer some day, and I have an original story in the works, but I just keep getting sidetracked (I also have it on good authority that the story is on crack...and since that's sort of what I'm going for...yay...unfortunately it is only about 5 pages at the moment). Write the novel...put some humor in it, becuase 1) comedy is so under rated and 2) you're too damn funny. I had no idea you were a professional comedian, but I can believe it *g*

I love a good laugh and your stories crack me up. I had to stop reading the Godfather one becuase...er...em...I haven't seen the movie...heh...so I was a little confused. I expect to be pelted with rotten fruit by rabid Godfather fans everywhere *g*

*smooches you* Good luck! You'll do awesome!
Feb. 6th, 2005 01:42 pm (UTC)
I haven't seen the movie...heh...so I was a little confused.

Haha...you're not the only one! :D
::uses you as a shield from the rotten fruit::
... - stoney321 - Feb. 6th, 2005 02:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - paynbow - Feb. 6th, 2005 02:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 6th, 2005 01:57 pm (UTC)
I like comedy...I loooooove comedy. I don't read fic anymore...all the WIPs I was following have fallen to the wayside. I think the only fic-like things I was reading were your parodies. Remember when I said that you could write-write? You can. Totally. I would love to one day read your story. I'd even pay money. You underestimate your talents as a writer. I'm sticking around and you can't get rid of me so easy. You hear me? You're stuck with me. Too bad. Although, I do get paranoid that my journal bores the hell out of you. Issues, I know.
Feb. 6th, 2005 02:42 pm (UTC)
Sheeeee- I KNOW I'm not getting rid of you. BTW, while I was driving home (a three hour drive. A three hour drive) I was listening to Paul's Boutique and knew you'd be laughing with me if you were in the car...

You have the AD journal, so it pleases me GREATLY. I'm finding that I like reading about PEOPLE, and not necessarily how they can make two (or three in many cases) do it. I'm just kind of "meh" about fandom. Wanna watch my DVDs and then visit with friends right now...
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 6th, 2005 02:45 pm (UTC)
Anne, you aren't going anywhere. Sue and I talked about the FRIENDS we have made, and how important those friendships are to us, and you were (of course) mentioned. I care about you and your boys, too.

I think my LJ is just going to be that: a journal. I'll keep you posted on things you want to know, and I'll shut up about the things people don't care about.

I'm sure you can identify with the feeling of only being a mom and wanting more, and hoping you can be more, you know? I've met some very interesting people with this new gig, and they are trying to help me get a foot in the door. Just wanting to prove something to myself, really.

*hugs you HARD!!*
Feb. 6th, 2005 03:52 pm (UTC)
Holy cow, but the writer's angst is making the rounds this week! I'm so proud of you for posting this, because writing it makes it real. You know that if you back out now, people are going to tut-tut and be all encouraging even though you just want to quit and eat chips in front of the TV forever and ever. And by "you" I of course mean "me". :0D

You know we're all here to support you, so by all means fling your ideas and questions and conundrums our way, and we'll help you all we can. I never get tired of talking about writing, so don't hold back. Like you ever do. ::snuggles you::

Probably won't happen, but I'm in my thirties and wanting to FINALLY do something about it. If I fail, at least I fucking tried, you know?

Boy, do I know. You go, girl!

PS A comedian!?!?! My respect for you has increased tenfold. You are a brave, brave woman.

Feb. 6th, 2005 04:51 pm (UTC)
Just so you know, your post a while back was very inspirational to me. And not in a motivation poster of a golf course way, but a I need to kick my shit in gear and do it way.

If you don't care about the non-fandom spam, I won't worry about hiding it.

There is mutual respect here, BTW. You've gone for it, and it's happening. You're awesome, Posh.

Now it's in "print," we have to do it, right??
Feb. 6th, 2005 03:53 pm (UTC)
Road trip? I'm so jealous. Wanting to actually make money doing this crazy thing called writing? Do it. Go do it. I'm 50 pages into an original thing that I'm writing. It's so hard!

The fanfiction that you do write? I absolutely love it. Comedy is harder to write because you can fall flat on your ass if a joke or bit doesn't work. Doesn't work that way with drama. I can't really do comedy myself. Wishes, wishes. So I say, go for it.
Feb. 6th, 2005 04:53 pm (UTC)
Well, I will. Whatever will be, will be, right? But I'll feel terrible if I don't try....
(And thanks. It's sweet of you to say.)
Feb. 6th, 2005 04:34 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you had fun!
And I'm looking forward to reading whatever you decide to write.
Feb. 6th, 2005 04:52 pm (UTC)
You want to read it? I didn't think people would out here.

And one week!! Less than! Woo hoo!
Feb. 6th, 2005 05:00 pm (UTC)
Go you, with the goal-pursuing! It's something to be very proud of.

It was then that I realized I had a baggie of my son's ADHD medicine in my bag, (a controlled substance - SPEED)

Oh, I hear you on that one. I was prescribed Ritalin when I was younger, because I was intensely lethargic and sleepy all the time (and I have no idea why something that slows ADHD kids down would also speed sluggish kids up), and it did a number on me. After taking my pill, I would be literally hopping from foot to foot, yammering in my mother's ear about Greek mythology or something, defying my species need for oxygen. Fun times. So, did you take any?
Feb. 6th, 2005 05:24 pm (UTC)
Hell yeah! Well, lemme 'splain. I, too, have ADHD but do not take medication. Now that I have a cabinet filled with cast-off drugs (from the doctor experimenting - he has since been fired) I thought I'd try one. I am now product-o girl. Ooooh. It works for me, too. :-)

The ritalin makes the synapses fire regularly in the frontal lobe, whic is where organization, logic, behavioral impulses and the like reside. They fire sporadically in kids with ADHD, so the meds make it fire regularly like in people without ADHD.

And I am a nerd.

Goals!! Always behind the times... Isn't this supposed to happen in January? ;-)
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 6th, 2005 07:36 pm (UTC)
Well, shucks. 10Q. There is something theraputic in writing the silly stuff. I need to write the stuff that my mind doesn't WANT me to write. Does that make sense?

And as to not commenting, don't ever be afraid to spam me with comments. The whole reason why I love LJ is for the friendships made. If I friend you back, it means I want to hear what you think - I want a dialogue. So newbie or not, I wanna hear what's happening in your leetle heed. Just saying, okay? ;-)
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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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