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First off, HELLO. Life has been stupid and hard (as per ushe) and I would very much like to be two people, thank you. (And then fake the first one's death. Hello, insurance settlement!)

Second, because the thought of doing anything other than breathing in and out most days makes me curl up in the fetal position, I wanted to ask those that read the SouthLAnd recaps on HDJM a question:

Poll #1896520 How high do you want me to jump? (HDJM question)

You: Jump Me: How high?

this high [hands to your knee]
5(14.7%)
this high [hands to your crotch, hey now!]
13(38.2%)
this high [hands to your chest, hey hey whaddya say!]
6(17.6%)
this high [hands over your head]
5(14.7%)
this high [stratosphere]
5(14.7%)

Me: wow, I have strong quads, but you are ridiculous.

You: No, YOU are.
3(5.7%)
You: No, your FACE is.
3(5.7%)
You: YOUR MOM IS RIDICULOUS.
6(11.3%)
You: I feel strangely bad about that whole "your face/your mom" thing.
5(9.4%)
You: I try to not be confrontational, typically.
5(9.4%)
You: I wasn't even paying attention, GOD.
4(7.5%)
You: Are you going to finish that? [points to cake]
18(34.0%)
You: YOU GO, GLEN COCO.
9(17.0%)

I have the idea of writing up the SouthLAnd recaps and posting them on Friday. This is because it's a late airing show and my life is hard.

Pfft, you don't know what pain is.
0(0.0%)
It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.
8(12.3%)
Yes it will, Precious, yes it will get the hose!
5(7.7%)
DON'T YOU MAKE ME HURT YOUR DOG.
2(3.1%)
Laura, do you need to talk to someone? Professionally?
8(12.3%)
Also, on topic: I will be happy to read those on Friday and am not filled with anger about the delay.
5(7.7%)
I am, however, filled with bees.
7(10.8%)
By bees I mean French fries.
12(18.5%)
I would like to state that I am livid and demand you post on Thursday morning after staying up all night writing.
0(0.0%)
My mother told me that everything I do is perfect and I can have the big piece of chicken.
6(9.2%)
Which is why I want everything NOW.
1(1.5%)
Also, my name is Veruca Salt.
3(4.6%)
SERIOUSLY. LAURA. Do you need to talk to someone in a therapeutic setting?
8(12.3%)

How many for Glen Coco?

One
4(14.8%)
Two
3(11.1%)
Three
4(14.8%)
Four
16(59.3%)


I promise I'm not legitimately going crazy. It just looks like that on the outside.

NOW IF I MAY ADDRESS THE TEEN WOLF FANDOM:


  • Stiles Stilinski's official birthday is April 8, which is shortly after Lydia's. Which means that by the end of S2 he either was about to have his 17th b-day, or had already had it. HE IS NO LONGER 16. Fun fact, he is older than Jackson by 2 months, and Scott by almost five months.

  • Camaros are not a sign of wealth. They are a sign of a working guy that wants an expensive sports car but got a Camaro instead.

  • There is no E in the word CAMARO.

  • If precome were enough, dudes all over wouldn't have bottles of lotion by their beds. [Also, what the hell is the deal with precome in this fandom?] Remember back in the fic days when it was a pearlescent drop and not a "rush" or a "mess of liquid?" Lol.

  • Stiles' Jeep is most likely a CJ7 from the '80s/early '90s. (Also known as the "Renegade" model, but that would be plastered on Stiles' hood if it were that particular kit.)

  • That style (the 2 door) has a low-back bench seat called a "fold and tumble" OR two "jump seats" that are affixed to the side walls. I'm pretty sure it's the bench, given the shots from S1, but production-wise, I bet they wished they opted for the jump seats to make more room for equipment.

  • The bench folds flat. Also, there's plenty of room in the back (the Jeep has two independently affixed captain-style chairs up front and there's no console in between) for long legs to stretch out. It's like sitting in a chair and there's TONS of leg room. Hint. I MEAN IT IS A FOLD AND TUMBLE, the name says what they can do! :D

  • There is no room in a Camaro for two full grown men that are 6 feet tall and with broad shoulders to get busy in the back seat. They probably couldn't in the front seat. Hand jobs? Probably. Not much more room for anything beyond some dry humping and hands in pants, honestly. They're designed to resemble a cockpit where everything wraps around the driver, and that doesn't mean a Stilinski.



brought to you by a person that has been reading a LOT of fanfic lately. :) (And as always, the things I love I bookmark on AO3.) One day I'll make an official recs list, because there are SO MANY AMAZING fics on Tumblr only.

Okay, I have to cross more things off my To Do list. WHY ISN'T LIFE ALL FRENCH FRIES AND BEACH PARTIES, WHY.

Comments

flaming_muse
Feb. 14th, 2013 06:52 pm (UTC)
Why you gotta harsh the love for self-lubricating penises and fold-down beds in the backs of CamEros? Dude, if you spell it with an E it ends with the word for love, and that's why there's so much room back there for the slippery, drippy sexy times!
stoney321
Feb. 14th, 2013 06:59 pm (UTC)
I am the worst, clearly, and I should be put down like a rabid dog. I RUIN ALL THE FUN. E = excitement and ecstasy and everlasting gobstoppers and Eorgasms.

AND I READ DROOLING AND WEEPING A LOT AND I DON'T WANT TO READ THOSE EVER. (Or feed. Gah.)

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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