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First off, good for you. Therapy is awesome. Everyone should have access! Let's get to some helpful tips.

When filling out paperwork in a small 10 x 10 waiting room, you should NOT ask the personal questions from the three page questionnaire out loud and wait for your teenage son to give you a yes or no answer. I get it, you think teens are idiots. Sure, they can be. They take risks, yadda. Guess what they also are? Capable of answering personal questions for themselves. Questions like: have you had issues wetting yourself. Have you been physically assaulted? Do you feel safe in your home?

You should not be asking those out loud and then demand answers. I think you're trying to give off the impression that you're a good, attentive mother? You're not. At all. If your child is a teenager, they are PERFECTLY CAPABLE of answering those themselves. Privately. They deserve the freaking privacy, FFS.

When waiting for your appointment, you shouldn't talk at the top of your lungs. Especially not when it's about why YOU believe your son "needs this," and especially when you say it in a derisive tone, because you think therapy is for bad kids. AND ESPECIALLY WHEN MY CHILD IS RIGHT THERE, TOO. Blame is a bad thing. Well, you'll find out soon enough.

When the therapist asks your child to come in first, that's because of safety reasons. And you need to STFU and not barge in demanding to be "a part of the process." I just... respect their authority. Period.

When the therapist kindly and sternly locks you out of the room, the people remaining in the room [me] are not your allies. I like our therapist. She's awesome. Her partner is also awesome. They're helpful. Berating them to me isn't winning you any points.

When waiting in a therapists office for teenagers (many of whom have eating disorders, shame issues, etc.) REFRAIN FROM FAT SHAMING PEOPLE in the waiting room magazines. Honestly, you shouldn't do that ever. Because fuck you, that's why. And when I tell you in no uncertain terms that fat shaming Kim Kardashian who happens to be pregnant is wrong, your shocked response isn't getting through to me. At all.

[And you made me defend Kim freaking Kardashian. I-- Gah.]

Basically I think I have a good reason why your shell-shocked kid was there. And I am not even sorry that I smiled when the therapist told you with a grim face to come inside and just listen. That might be a first for you.

In conclusion, you're a terrible human being and your husband was an ass for getting onto your 6 year old who was bored with nothing to do in the waiting room. JFC. Bring a damn book and look at the pages next time.

Comments

( 35 comments — Leave a comment )
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halfmoon_mollie
Apr. 4th, 2013 11:40 am (UTC)
[And you made me defend Kim freaking Kardashian. I-- Gah.]

OMG. (Ducks - if you defended Kim, the world might be going to end any minute.)

But seriously, you are full of awesome.
mwhatktdidnext
Apr. 4th, 2013 01:47 pm (UTC)
I have a pretty good reason why her child was there too. Sigh. I snuck around behind my mother's back to have therapy as a teen, because she would've behaved EXACTLY like this. She would've been that mother who thinks that there's shame in therapy, I was just attention seeking and it was also just a sign that I was trying to prove she was a bad mother. Because it was all about her own embarrassment. So she would've just been nervous and uncomfortable when there, have no sensitivity towards me or anyone else, and assume that all other parents felt the same as her.

I would guess that they - or maybe just she - are only taking her child to therapy due to pressure from the GP or friends. It certainly didn't sound like she thought it was necessary, and bringing the whole family including younger children is just a baaaadd idea.

Good on you for calling her out! (I'd be mortified if I had to defend a Kardashian too, but in this case I would've done the same. Dammit!)
podle
Apr. 4th, 2013 02:48 pm (UTC)
Good on you. You may have already realized this, but the other cool thing you did in that situation was to let that teenager know that not all adults and not all parents are insensitive jerkwads. Trust me - that can be important news to get.
kuzu_no_ha
Apr. 4th, 2013 03:08 pm (UTC)
LOOK AT ME BEING A GOOD MOTHER!

LOOK

AT


MEEEEEEEE


That's just terrible. I desperately hope they all get the help they need and she doesn't just pull him out because she called out on her bullshit.
Good on ya for saying something about fat shamming. I have no love for that woman either, but that was some fucked up shit.
evamagick
Apr. 4th, 2013 03:18 pm (UTC)
JESUS EFFING CHRIST. These people are why therapy was invented. Those poor kids. :(
singinglark
Apr. 4th, 2013 06:11 pm (UTC)
At least the therapist now knows WHY the kid has issues. The mother's behavior was just nasty.

At least you called her out on the fat-shaming. And you weren't defending Kim Kardashian as such, you were defending ALL WOMEN who aren't a size 0, and who put on weight when pregnant (because hey, they have another PERSON inside their body). Even Kim Kardashian doesn't deserve fat-shaming. (She has so many OTHER reasons to be ashamed!)

Sorry about the all-capsy shouting, but I'm not in the mood to do html coding. (Yes, I know I am lazy. And overly fond of parentheses.)
fiveandfour
Apr. 4th, 2013 07:07 pm (UTC)
I wonder why people like that even want to have kids. Or maybe they don't and that's the root of the problem. (Though I've seen an unfortunate number of people who honestly wanted kids and actually think they are decent parents when, really, they are the kind of caretakers the average person wouldn't trust to watch their dog over a week-end.)

My family recently changed health clinics and we got my daughter connected up to the doctor who specializes in teens and young adults. I was impressed with how the doctor made it my daughter's choice whether or not I stayed in the room. I certainly didn't have that choice when I was her age and even for general health checkups it was freaking MORTIFYING having my mom there.

I'm glad that the healthcare world is making strides in giving children the opportunity to have a voice and some agency in their own care. This has lead to some amusing incidents for a couple of friends with accident-prone kids during emergency room visits, but all in all they were HAPPY that there is a focus on making sure kids are safe and have a chance to speak for themselves.
dabhug
Apr. 4th, 2013 07:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
bitchygrrl
Apr. 4th, 2013 09:20 pm (UTC)
She need to be SNATCHED, en of. Seriously? What the hell, man? I hope they can you tech someone that age compassion,decency, and plain common sense?
PS Kudos to you for defending a Kardashian, and not just slapping that witch.

Edited at 2013-04-04 09:21 pm (UTC)
kseenaa
Apr. 10th, 2013 09:52 pm (UTC)
Geezes... People like that exist? POOR KIDS!
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( 35 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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