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First off, good for you. Therapy is awesome. Everyone should have access! Let's get to some helpful tips.

When filling out paperwork in a small 10 x 10 waiting room, you should NOT ask the personal questions from the three page questionnaire out loud and wait for your teenage son to give you a yes or no answer. I get it, you think teens are idiots. Sure, they can be. They take risks, yadda. Guess what they also are? Capable of answering personal questions for themselves. Questions like: have you had issues wetting yourself. Have you been physically assaulted? Do you feel safe in your home?

You should not be asking those out loud and then demand answers. I think you're trying to give off the impression that you're a good, attentive mother? You're not. At all. If your child is a teenager, they are PERFECTLY CAPABLE of answering those themselves. Privately. They deserve the freaking privacy, FFS.

When waiting for your appointment, you shouldn't talk at the top of your lungs. Especially not when it's about why YOU believe your son "needs this," and especially when you say it in a derisive tone, because you think therapy is for bad kids. AND ESPECIALLY WHEN MY CHILD IS RIGHT THERE, TOO. Blame is a bad thing. Well, you'll find out soon enough.

When the therapist asks your child to come in first, that's because of safety reasons. And you need to STFU and not barge in demanding to be "a part of the process." I just... respect their authority. Period.

When the therapist kindly and sternly locks you out of the room, the people remaining in the room [me] are not your allies. I like our therapist. She's awesome. Her partner is also awesome. They're helpful. Berating them to me isn't winning you any points.

When waiting in a therapists office for teenagers (many of whom have eating disorders, shame issues, etc.) REFRAIN FROM FAT SHAMING PEOPLE in the waiting room magazines. Honestly, you shouldn't do that ever. Because fuck you, that's why. And when I tell you in no uncertain terms that fat shaming Kim Kardashian who happens to be pregnant is wrong, your shocked response isn't getting through to me. At all.

[And you made me defend Kim freaking Kardashian. I-- Gah.]

Basically I think I have a good reason why your shell-shocked kid was there. And I am not even sorry that I smiled when the therapist told you with a grim face to come inside and just listen. That might be a first for you.

In conclusion, you're a terrible human being and your husband was an ass for getting onto your 6 year old who was bored with nothing to do in the waiting room. JFC. Bring a damn book and look at the pages next time.

Comments

maplelump
Apr. 4th, 2013 12:00 am (UTC)
I hate it when parents do that. I'll admit, that when I had my pre-op appointment, I handed my mom the paperwork because she has been basically my case manager for 8 years, and knows my medicine better than I do.

Plus, I wanted to read my novel.

What is okay: her asking me in a deadpan tone: "what do you do to manage pain?" Me (pretending to be contemplative): "ice, curl up into fetal position and full on denial of the pain's existence."
Her: *writes down exactly what I just said with a wry smile on her face*

What is not okay: everything you described.

Question: in your neck of the woods, are they doing the paperless thing for patients? After my operation 2.5 weeks ago, every time the nurse came in, she had this cool bar scanner thingy, scanned my wristband and it brought up all my records on the monitor in my room. Saved her a lot of pain from carrying so much stuff.

IDK, I thought it was cool. /random
stoney321
Apr. 4th, 2013 12:10 am (UTC)
No no no, you handing paperwork over because she knows your medical history is not a thing to feel bad about AT ALL. You two were obviously okay with that, you know? <3 This was...bossy and controlling and shaming and UGH.

And your relationship with your mom sounds awesome and hilarious. THUMBS UP FROM ME.

Every doctor I have (and my kids, too) are paperless. This therapist's office just happens to still be outdated in that department. Don't you love that new technology?! I'm a HUGE fan.
maplelump
Apr. 4th, 2013 02:38 am (UTC)
What's funny to me about the technology, is I've been a patient at UCSF since 07, and I've seen the progression. And watching the transition is really funny, because it's supposed to make their lives easier, but the process of switching was making their lives more difficult. And they had to use MORE paper to switch to paperless.

Which confused both me and my doctors.

But now that the new system is in place, I LOVE it. Things are sent instantly, it rarely gets lost in translation. Plus they could send all the info to my GP without jumping through all that red tape. Like, at my post-op appt, he went, hold on let me get your file, and pulled up everything on the computer in less than five seconds.

/random babble.

Yeah, my mom is basically my best friend, and I don't feel embarrassed saying that as a 25 year old. It's been her and I against the world since I was 13, so yeah. /over share

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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