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AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T DIE FROM PORKING A WASP'S NEST. 140+ stings, 54 of them on his wang.

WARNING ABOUT THAT LINK: a man grabs a handful of wasps before the story starts and I am covered in hives just from that.

YOU KNOW, THAT IS ENOUGH, PEOPLE. That is just freaking enough. Honestly? I think there needs to be MORE OF THIS HAPPENING to thin the herd. This is mother nature's way of culling the flock, this I believe.

Hey, guys! I thought I had a rough morning, and now I'm too shocked and baffled to remember what the hell even caused my frustration. Sounds like I need to eat a plate of French fries and have some cheesecake because LIFE IS SHORT. Especially when you poke your hose where it doesn't belong.

Fun fact: I am DEATHLY allergic to wasps. I'm very allergic to bees, but wasps can kill me. I almost died when I was a kid when four yellow jackets stung my shoulder and I went into cardiac arrest and my throat closed up. I AM A LITTLE STRESSED ABOUT THIS STORY. And also I am laughing, because that man clearly needed to die.
Poll #1913609 Quick Looksee Into Who Would Be Interested

If Laura was to have a weekly/bi-weekly online chat where she answered gardening questions, I would

be interested in participating, either by watching or sending in a question.
46(83.6%)
not interested because I don't garden, am not into that topic, or other reason.
9(16.4%)

When in need:

French fries! (Mm, salty goodness.)
41(29.3%)
Chocolate! (Mm, repair Dementor damage.)
53(37.9%)
Green peas! (Mm, I'm a weirdo.)
8(5.7%)
Booze! (Mm, smells of Mother...)
35(25.0%)
Glue sticks! (I'm Ralphie Wiggums.)
3(2.1%)

Comments

mere_ubu
May. 14th, 2013 09:16 pm (UTC)
Bahahaaaaa! I haven't been on the LJ in, well, years, but I came here today and read this and it made my day. Also? You broke my kid, who came home from a grueling day of junior high, read this, and is now into minute 7 of hysterical, incapacitating laughter. I give it 3 more minutes, and then I'm coming at her with the cold, wet cloth and a light misting of rescue remedy.

In short, THANK YOU.
stoney321
May. 14th, 2013 09:23 pm (UTC)
Hey, stranger!! Good to see your name on my flist, again! <3 So happy to make you both laugh.

*big, squishy hugs*

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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