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WARNING: Unsettling content to follow.

I can't let this go. Help me, Flist.

I saw my son open a packaged Kit-Kat bar and he BIT ALL FOUR AT ONCE, SHOVING LIKE HALF IN HIS MOUTH.

What kind of monster have I raised??

Didn't snap off any. Didn't peel the layers. JUST BIT INTO ALL FOUR LIKE HE HAD THE RIGHT. Like there aren't rules about this. It's just really upsetting me.


In happier news, I was cleaning up an odd pile of mish-mash and found a letter from the BFF from our college days. Inside was a newspaper clipping that I will repeat verbatim here (extra commas and all). I would like to state that this was from a small town Utah paper and NOT FROM THE ONION. NOR IS IT A DEEP THOUGHT BY JACK HANDY.

"When I am really depressed, I don't cry- I get a fudge brownie. I don't care if something really bad happens in my life, as long as I have a nice, thick fudge brownie to eat. Sometimes, when I eat brownies, I think of my old house before it burned down, and the kitchen where my sister and I used to fight over who would get to use the phone first, and eat brownies with whipped cream and spray each other with whipped cream." -Kandra [last name redacted], 14

O_O Bless.


Sep. 24th, 2013 11:52 pm (UTC)
WE DO NOT WRAP THINGS THE SAME IN THE US. Having said that, CLEARLY MY CHILD HAS FAILED, BECAUSE EACH PIECE MUST BE SEPARATED! And then ridges are nommed off, then remaining side chocolate, then the layers must be addressed!

Why are these schools filling their heads with nonsense like math and reading when there are important LIFE SKILLS BEING IGNORED. Harumph!
Sep. 25th, 2013 12:02 am (UTC)
I had not realised you were so deprived. A fundamental cultural icon has been denied to you. As it has now been to us.

The eating of a KitKat is, however, sacrosanct. I know teenage boys eat anything that stays still long enough, but this is beyond the pale.

You should complain to the school. Really.
Sep. 25th, 2013 12:16 am (UTC)
*cracks up*


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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