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A few years ago, a friend in the acting community here gave me a copy of a movie he wrote and directed to possibly review on HDJM to get some press out. I watched it. And there was no way I was going to give it a positive review. Technically it was fine. Solid, if very "film school project-y."

However.



The movie is about a woman being raped. Wait, no it isn't. It is about how the husband deals with his wife being raped. The movie is in HIS perspective. His POV. His feelings, how he deals with it, how he feels about it. She's a sexy lamp in the background for most of the movie, in fact.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. Now, there are ways, possibly, that this could be done that didn't make it all about the man (jfc, I am so ANGRY about that) but this movie doesn't. The woman gets over it (we just know that she's okay, we don't ever see her deal or process what has happened) and then she fades into the background as her husband comes to terms with how victimized HE feels, how emotional HE feels, how unsafe HE feels.

AND THEN SHE COMES BACK ON SCREEN TO COMFORT HIM ABOUT HER RAPE. He's sobbing and fetal, and she holds him and shushes him.

CAN YOU SEE WHY I WAS ANGRY?

This person posted to FB today that he finally got a distribution deal - nothing huge, sort of an Indie Film Vimeo thing. But I'm seeing all over my feed how wonderful this is, how proud everyone is of him, how smart it is...

And they're all dudes. And some of these guys are making huge movies now, and all of the parts are for men. I know this is nothing new, but these are "hipster, thinking, emotional guys." No, fuck that shit. They're writing parts for themselves and their friends (which is how it works) but that happens to be all WOMEN.

And studies have shown that when you show a scene to a man that has 70% male characters and 30% female, they are really seeing a majority of women in the scene. TAKE A MOMENT TO ABSORB THAT. Think about some of your favorite shows and movies. And think about the ratio of men to women.

When are we going to demand equal representation? Fair characterization? IDK, I'm just bitter and angry. I'm in my 40s now, and the likelihood of me ever acting again is pretty much nil. There are hardly any voice acting jobs for women, and the ones that are available are near impossible to get. I think about Jennifer Lawrence being told she's too fat, people marveling at actresses being attractive over 35 and I'm just fucking sick of this shit.

And the people who should listen to this, the men who should realize that they can't fucking write women - that women can write men better than they can write women - aren't interested, because why should they be? They've been able to skate by doing what they do because no one challenges them.

And it makes me want to write a Grindhouse movie with Michele Rodriguez beating the shit out of dudebros and call it FRIENDZONED.

Bah.

Comments

( 37 comments — Leave a comment )
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sunnyd_lite
Oct. 5th, 2013 12:49 am (UTC)
But if if a white dude doesn't react to something, how do we know it happened? *headdesk*

One neat thing about crowdsourcing is that several small films by women directors/writers are getting funding like: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/no-boys-allowed where the principal cast is all female.

So - there might be interest in your project
dovil
Oct. 6th, 2013 08:46 pm (UTC)
History was written almost entirely from a male POV and I guess they just didn't want to shift it to keep the narrative flowing. *weak laughter*

WE LIVE IN A MERITOCRACY, STONEY! Like fuck we do.

I shall rage with you. I'm about to make the angriest cup of tea ever, tea leaves EVERYWHERE!
dampersnspoons
Oct. 8th, 2013 11:33 pm (UTC)
Chris and I were just talking about this, and he had some interesting comments. Neither of us have seen his film, so we're going off of your post (which is sickening. Not your words, the movie.) He said, "The only way that movie could work is if the protagonist admits that his ego is what's damaged. That could be a really powerful message for men, to realize that they aren't fucking victims. Their ego is what's damaged, and that's disgusting. But that's probably not what he was trying to say with his movie. It's like that famous episode in the Sopranos when [the therapist] gets raped, and her boyfriend goes nuts wanting to kick someone's ass because someone did this to his woman. But it's not about him, it's about her, and he can't understand it." His knee-jerk reaction is violence toward the wrong doer, not comfort to his girlfriend that needs his support and love.

So A: my husband is awesome and B: the next time I hear about a man feeling victimized because of someone else's trauma, I'm going to shank them. Imagine watching a documentary about mass genocide on TV. And you feel really close to the people that were killed/tortured/whatever because they share the same race as you. And you think it's REALLY IMPORTANT to shine a light on yourself, because you are affected! Look how this affects me, you guys! I feel pain too! No, no, look away from the TV and those agonizing screams you're hearing. Mine is a silent scream. That's almost LOUDER.

BARF RALPH HOARK
stoney321
Oct. 9th, 2013 12:10 am (UTC)
1: I love you.
2: I love Chris.
3: The movie doesn't acknowledge the ego AT ALL and Chris is 100% correct that it would change the movie tremendously if he did.
4: This movie makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY.
5: Gorl, we needs to get some lunch and shiz.
6: I love you.
bitchygrrl
Oct. 11th, 2013 06:44 pm (UTC)
You have said everything I feel . . .
I went to film school and was taught by a bunch of men who told me don't worry if I was good men would hire me to work on their sets because I was pretty, and women who told me I couldn't make movies about horror or sex, or women being violent and still be a feminist. I ended up angry and insecure as an artist. I watched guys with half my ability get twice the opportunity because they had dicks and I didn't. I eventually said fuck it all.
It's only in the last 5 years working in the sex industry that I've been able to put my ability to use. I both love and hate the film industry, but am actually working toward funding the production and distribution of my work and the work of like minded people. I'll be using all that dirty, sex money. *cackles with glee*
Seriously though reading the plot of his movie makes me rage. If you wanted do something like that why not a movie about a man who has been raped or molested, something like Mysterious Skin. Why does the woman's pain have to be a prop, and no doubt the rape of a partner would have an impact on you, but there is a way to depict that that isn't gross and self-serving. I swear to god some days I want to go on a dudebro/hipster/nice guy killing spree.

PS I would watch the fuck out of Friendzoned, make it happen, girl. :)


Edited at 2013-10-11 06:47 pm (UTC)
stoney321
Oct. 11th, 2013 06:51 pm (UTC)
Re: You have said everything I feel . . .
I think it's bad ass that you're getting to where you can fund your own work. That's HUGE in this industry, so mazel to you for that.

I'm slowly outlining Friendzoned. :D
bitchygrrl
Oct. 11th, 2013 07:16 pm (UTC)
Re: You have said everything I feel . . .
I so want you to take that somewhere. It NEEDS to be made. Seriously I will cheer you on every bit of the way. It's the kind of movie love.

I think self-funding is the only way I'll ever get to make the movies I want to make the way I want to make them. That I'm using the money of duded who pay for my verbal humiliation will only make it sweeter.
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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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