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A few years ago, a friend in the acting community here gave me a copy of a movie he wrote and directed to possibly review on HDJM to get some press out. I watched it. And there was no way I was going to give it a positive review. Technically it was fine. Solid, if very "film school project-y."


The movie is about a woman being raped. Wait, no it isn't. It is about how the husband deals with his wife being raped. The movie is in HIS perspective. His POV. His feelings, how he deals with it, how he feels about it. She's a sexy lamp in the background for most of the movie, in fact.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. Now, there are ways, possibly, that this could be done that didn't make it all about the man (jfc, I am so ANGRY about that) but this movie doesn't. The woman gets over it (we just know that she's okay, we don't ever see her deal or process what has happened) and then she fades into the background as her husband comes to terms with how victimized HE feels, how emotional HE feels, how unsafe HE feels.

AND THEN SHE COMES BACK ON SCREEN TO COMFORT HIM ABOUT HER RAPE. He's sobbing and fetal, and she holds him and shushes him.


This person posted to FB today that he finally got a distribution deal - nothing huge, sort of an Indie Film Vimeo thing. But I'm seeing all over my feed how wonderful this is, how proud everyone is of him, how smart it is...

And they're all dudes. And some of these guys are making huge movies now, and all of the parts are for men. I know this is nothing new, but these are "hipster, thinking, emotional guys." No, fuck that shit. They're writing parts for themselves and their friends (which is how it works) but that happens to be all WOMEN.

And studies have shown that when you show a scene to a man that has 70% male characters and 30% female, they are really seeing a majority of women in the scene. TAKE A MOMENT TO ABSORB THAT. Think about some of your favorite shows and movies. And think about the ratio of men to women.

When are we going to demand equal representation? Fair characterization? IDK, I'm just bitter and angry. I'm in my 40s now, and the likelihood of me ever acting again is pretty much nil. There are hardly any voice acting jobs for women, and the ones that are available are near impossible to get. I think about Jennifer Lawrence being told she's too fat, people marveling at actresses being attractive over 35 and I'm just fucking sick of this shit.

And the people who should listen to this, the men who should realize that they can't fucking write women - that women can write men better than they can write women - aren't interested, because why should they be? They've been able to skate by doing what they do because no one challenges them.

And it makes me want to write a Grindhouse movie with Michele Rodriguez beating the shit out of dudebros and call it FRIENDZONED.



Oct. 3rd, 2013 09:18 pm (UTC)
I don't even know where to begin. Rape is SO NOT about the man and what he feels and what hes going though. Its ALWAYS about the victim and what she goes through and how those around her react. What was this friend thinking with this movie?? OMG!!!

What made him think this was a good idea? I don't CARE what a fucking man thinks because its NOT ABOUT HIS FEELINGS. EVER. The husband/boyfriend/male relative should put all his efforts into comforting HER and supporting HER and giving HER anything she needs to get through such a terrible trauma.

That sound you're hearing? That's my brain imploding. Especially at this part:

AND THEN SHE COMES BACK ON SCREEN TO COMFORT HIM ABOUT HER RAPE. He's sobbing and fetal, and she holds him and shushes him.

WTF?? NO!!! The rage I'm feeling. Oh the RAGE. Also, you are not losing your mind. Your anger is completely justified.
Oct. 3rd, 2013 11:58 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it's fucking INFURIATING, the whole lot of it. And my cries fall on deaf ears in this industry. FUCK.


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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