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In Memoriam

One of my oldest friends died yesterday. Because I know it would make him happy, I want to share some ridiculous stories about him.

Steve and I met at the local improv house, Ad-Libs. For those in DFW, that probably rings a bell. This was way back when they first moved onto Ross Ave. I helped build the stage, in fact, on Superbowl Sunday, '91. We were a tight family, our group. The first night I was working with Steve, about mid-February of '91, we were all hanging out in the Green Room before people were brought in to be seated.

So let me explain you a thing about a comedy club's green room. There aren't bowls of Godiva chocolates and fresh flowers. What was there was a busted up old sofa someone had drug in off the street - the kind where it's so sprung that when you sit down, your knees are higher than your lap and you get knocked into whoever is sitting next to you - a giant electrical wire spindle for a table, and scores of milk crates stacked to the ceiling.

The milk crates were stuffed with porn mags. I'm talking the filthiest, most ridiculous titles you can think of. (Long time readers? This is where my love of redonk porn in fic was birthed.) This room was the epitome of Rule 34. Now, I'm in the heart of my Mormon Rumspringa at the time, I'm 18 and change. And they all know that I'm Mormon (but that at the time I wasn't devout). I'm sitting on this busted up sofa feeling about a foot off the ground, when I sense someone moving close to my left side. I turn to look and come face to naked crotch with a body I don't know. I look up at the guy (it's a guy, tucked) and he's got a shawl draped around his shoulders, and he's writhing with his arms stretched high overhead, and he's mewling, "I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me so hard."

Now, the waitress/bartender they had before me was NOT into their dirty-mouthed shenanigans. I, however, started bouncing my shoulders rhythmically and began singing, "Goodbye Horses." The guy lets out a machine gun fire sounding laugh, I mean, it was ripped out of him, an explosion of "Hahahahha!" He pulled me into a hug and introduced himself as Steve.

I'd passed the test. I was in the inner circle for these guys, and let me tell you: comedy clubs are sausage festivals, make no mistake. That they thought I was funny, that I was eventually able to get on stage was huge. There was nothing like making Steve laugh. He didn't laugh easy - he had an obvious fake laugh for flirty girls after the show - but man, when you ripped one of those hahahahaha!s out of him? Awesome.

Oh my god, he had this thing he would do where he would grab his top and bottom lip and force himself to laugh when dudebros would douche up the place after a show. (And there were always dudebros there.) We went trick of treating with my brother and sister that year, and he dressed in sweats with the words P-E-Z on his chest and wore a chicken head. He tied a Styrofoam block around his throat. Ha, I'd forgotten about that!

He seemed to have had it all - a wealthy and supportive family, the key to the family's international business, spoke multiple languages, never met a stranger he didn't want to listen to. That was the best part, he really wanted to hear people's stories. He introduced me to his "girls" late one night after a show - about 3am? - down on Maple St. It was where the transvestites hung out for coffee and gossip. For a sheltered Mormon kid, that was eye opening, guys with full beards and satin dresses. He was super right wing, but pro-LGBT. Politically right, but pro-choice. He was stocky, looked like Barney from the Flintstones, and always made me feel funny, interesting, and beautiful.

Two plus decades of heavy drug use and hard drinking finally took its toll yesterday - his heart, big as it was, finally stopped. Even though we'd all expected this day to come, it's still hard to face when it does.

Steve Slonina was my friend, he always made me feel special and important, and there will never be another person quite like him.

Icon usage is because we went to see Star Trek VI together and cheered when Sulu was announced as being the captain of his own ship. He had a black sense of humor and was good people.


( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 12th, 2013 11:37 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry for your loss. HUGS.
Oct. 12th, 2013 11:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks for that. *hugs back*
Oct. 12th, 2013 11:40 pm (UTC)
He sounds like a truly one of a kind, great person. A sad loss.
Oct. 12th, 2013 11:44 pm (UTC)
Oh, man. One of the funniest people I've ever known, hands down. *hugs*
Oct. 13th, 2013 12:08 am (UTC)
He sounds like an amazing person. We all need one of those in our lives. So sorry for your loss.

Oct. 13th, 2013 12:09 am (UTC)
I'm sorry you've lost such a good friend. He's irreplaceable, but I can tell he'll live long in your stories.
Oct. 13th, 2013 12:20 am (UTC)
Oh, so sorry to hear such bad news. But what amazing, hilarious stories. He sounds like quite a guy.
Oct. 13th, 2013 12:47 am (UTC)
losing a friend is awful. I'm sorry for your loss.

Oct. 13th, 2013 01:37 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss, love. He sounds like a great guy.
Oct. 13th, 2013 01:50 am (UTC)
You have my sympathies, hon. *HUG*
Oct. 13th, 2013 02:21 am (UTC)
Condolences, Stoney. So sorry for your loss. (and you must have been pretty funny!)
Oct. 13th, 2013 03:18 am (UTC)
That's a great memorial there. It's hard to lose such a friend, but you do have the good memories...
Oct. 13th, 2013 03:24 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss, L.
Oct. 13th, 2013 03:25 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like Steve would really like that you remembered him in such a loving and positive way *hugs*
Oct. 13th, 2013 03:59 am (UTC)
I'm so very sorry, honey. Hugs to you. <3
Oct. 13th, 2013 05:17 am (UTC)
Oh, my condolences, Stoney. He sounds like an extraordinary, vivid person. I wish he'd been here longer but I am glad he was your friend.
Oct. 13th, 2013 01:03 pm (UTC)
*Hugs* I'm sorry for your loss. He sounds like an amazing guy.
Oct. 13th, 2013 01:36 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry hun. *ALL THE HUGS*
Oct. 13th, 2013 03:24 pm (UTC)
Hell of a tribute, lady.
Oct. 13th, 2013 05:27 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss... and thanks for sharing. Funny stories are the best kind of legacy to leave behind.
Oct. 13th, 2013 06:03 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Love this tribute. And I'm so sorry for your loss.
Oct. 14th, 2013 12:19 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry for your loss
Oct. 14th, 2013 08:14 pm (UTC)
He sounds like such an interesting person! I am glad he came into you life and sad that the world is without such a character now. **hugs**
Oct. 14th, 2013 09:16 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you.
Oct. 16th, 2013 04:35 am (UTC)
Hugs Stoney, lots of hugs. I lost someone dear to me as well this week. Not a very good week, apparently. Im glad you shared your funny stories - it makes me wish I knew him as well.
Oct. 17th, 2013 06:34 pm (UTC)
Sounds like he was a complex and interesting guy. My condolences on the loss of such a friend.
Nov. 16th, 2013 10:30 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry for your loss.
( 27 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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