Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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Ficlet - Fer Phun

In light of recent revelations on the Angel Season 5 DVD that (duh!) there is history between Angel and Spike of a sexual nature (from Joss himself)... I give you: Spike, Buffy and Angel if they were Native American Indians. So no one calls out the PC Police, my heritage is Choctaw Indian (my grandmother is 1/2), so don't get pissy.

Princess Ninety-Nine Wampum (She always under Buck)

Moon Hair looked across ceremony fire at the pretty squaw sharpening arrowheads for the warriors to hunt with. Ninety-Nine Wampum was pretty, and small like bird. She had hair the color of fresh honey. She had mouth like Mother Blue Jay - always scolding and squawking. Moon Hair did not care. Moon Hair want to tame the Princess.

Moon Hair drop the bear meat he was eating and walk around fire and grab Princess by hair. He tried to drag her to his wigwam to pleasure himself. He forget Princess is strong like Brother Bear, and fierce like Brother Wolf. He did not know she had talons like Father Eagle. He like the idea of bedding a fellow warrior. Moon Hair didn't like to think about that too much. Too many times he sit alone in his wigwam wanting Chief Warrior Stone Head to come to him. Teach him new wrestling moves to make him stronger. No. He think about Ninety-Nine Wampum tonight.

She is not wanting to bed him. She scratch at him like mighty Badger. She howl at him like Puma. Moon Hair flares nostrils and smells her. She DOES want to bed him. Moon Hair smirks and crushes Ninety-Nine Wampum to his chest. She makes noises like newborn cat. He lift her over shoulder and carry her into his tent. He now sees her fighting is for the tribe to think she is not deserving of cast out. Moon Hair throws her on a pile of skins.

He takes off his loin-cloth. He flexes in a warrior pose to show his strength to the Princess. She hisses at him, yet she take off her dress. He comes to her and settles between her legs. He feel the laces of her deerskin boots against his flesh. He tries to not think of Stone Head, who caught the deer to make the boots. Princess makes a clucking noise to him and bumps him with her hips. The tales among the warriors are true: Princess like to be bedded.

Moon Hair teaches her the meaning of warrior. He think. Princess Ninety-Nine Wampum is tricky like Fox. She flip him over and ride him like he is his own horse, Angel Wind. He know this is name a squaw would give for horse, but Moon Hair like pretty words. He hide this from other warriors. He hope to one day tell Stone Head of love of words... He forget about the Princess, now giving war whoops. She is very much like a warrior. He begin to move under her. He begin to like how strong she is - like warrior. He never knew squaw could be so strong. Moon Hair like this very much. He flip her over.

The Princess makes sounds like she in pain. But she smile like she has a secret. Moon Hair pins her arms over her head and pushes harder, faster into her. He want to see how strong she is. She begin to make sounds - he hears her say his name. He feel the thrill he gets when taking a scalp. He cries out when he feels his spirit enter her. She slaps him. He said wrong name. Princess kicks him off and climbs back into her dress, smooths braids, and goes out to the fire.

Moon Hair sits on skins, face in hands. He does not bother to cover himself. He hears the flap of his wigwam open. He thinks the Princess has come back to throw things. He opens his eyes and sees Chief Warrior Stone Face standing tall, arms crossed in front. He is not wearing his loin cloth. He speak. "You called, Moon Hair?" Did he? Clicky clicky

On a DVD note... Anyone else notice on the cover of the DVDs where Spike is holding the cross (Ep. - Destiny) and you can tell it's inflatable, or made of squishy material? You can see he's holding it with his right hand too hard. Ha ha! Prop gaff.
Tags: angel, fic, funny fic, parody fic, spike
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