This next ficlet was inspired in part by her Angry Gay Cops icon and my recent viewing of "The Girl in Question." Set phasers to SNARK. (With apologies to reremouse for borrowing the cut tag title, or parts therein. It's just really funny, toots.)
Angry, Gay... Pirates?
"You say a word of this to anyone, I'll have your guts for garters."
"You wear garters?"
"You shut it, Angelus. Anything you don't like about me, you can shove it up your arse. Wasn't ME that said we should get up like this. Wasn't ME who pissed off the Immortal. Wasn't me that left it until just before daybreak with no way to get back to our women."
"Yeah? Well it WAS you who suggested we change clothes to fit in. Stupid puffy shirt."
"Don't know... Looks like the same type of shirt you've been wearing for the past few decades, mate. Now, the eye-patch... That's an especially nice touch." He snaps his heels together, and gives a mock salute, "Captain Forehead."
"Don't. Call. Me. That."
"Right. You look right fierce with your scabbard and your shirt all open and billowy."
"I'm not the one with the ridiculous parrot. Where the hell did you find that in the first place?"
"Killed the First Mate, was perched on his shoulder, came over to me, been here ever since."
"Rrrrarwk! Put up your dukes! Put up your dukes! Hey! No fair! Rrrawrk!"
"Shove off, bird. I didn't say that, Angelus. Oh... Shut up!"
"William, you did say this boat was headed for France, right?"
"Uh... Sure. Right."
"William. Tell me you checked."
William mumbles something to himself. Angel distinctly hears the word "Caribbean."
"What the hell are two vampires going to do in the Carribean?"
"Uh... Get sauced? That rum that comes from there... Had a nip or two back in the day. Thought I might like to see a real coconut again. Aside from the one perched on your shoulders, that is. Plus, hear there are a few like us out in Hispaniola."
"What do you mean ‘like us?' Vampires?"
William the Bloody looks at his sire with a smirk, tongue behind his teeth, eyes twinkling with mischief.
"You know, hate to say it, but you do look good in your pirate blouse."
"Shirt, Spike. It's a shirt. And you watch that smart mouth, or I'll watch it for you."
"Maybe later. After I've fed. Probably... Later."