So, to lighten the mood around here, I've had limericks in my head about the girls going to see Slag Heap in NY (man, I WISH I could go!!! If there wasn't a baby due - the first child for my BIL and SIL... I'd be there.)
So here are my Slag Heap Hookers Limericks. Work Safe, BTW.
There once was a hooker named Vinnie
Who turned on all the girls (he was skinny)
He moaned and he cried
On the stage did he writhe
Connor fans in the audience? Many.
A nice group of whores went to New York
Swm screamed, "Vinnie! Vinnie!" like a dork
Ushers heard her yell
And took her to jail
She fends off her new "friends" with her spork
Kita and Ros_Fod snuck backstage
Tried to capture VK in a cage
Gleeful was Ros_Fod
JM was mid-blow job
Vinnie's publicist flew in a rage
While Swm was waiting in the Pokey
The girls joined VK in a smoke. He
Gave the girls cigs
JM danced a few jigs
They sniggered at his dance - it was hokey.
Later that night they all got high
And someone said, "Hey Swm!- OH MY!"
Fod tried to get up
But fell back on her butt
Making all of the girls laugh and cry.
Poor Swm changed her name to "Big Shirl"
She settled in with a nice girl
And their joy was plenty
But still she loved Vinnie
Her fannish love shone like a pearl.
[ETA] I have gotten 14 emails from her in the past half hour, alternating between whining for me to be her BFF and bitching me out for not liking the same things in fandom as her. The hell? And she's OLDER than me, acting like she's in high school! Like I need this shit.