Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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Hi! I'm owie and sore and sandy.

Owie because my stoopid monthlies decided to join up with the beach fun. So I'm inside waiting for the Motrin to take effect instead of flying our new, cool PIRATE SHIP KITE on the beach. Dude. Pirate ship kite. !!! Apparently Ft. Walton Beach/Destin is known for it's massive Pirate festival. o_O So that explains why we saw all the scurvey bastards and their saucy wenches downing ale everywhere we turned since we got here. Hee!! Pirates!! Seriously. Think about dressing in corsets and long skirts and layers, sitting on a boat in the 90s, and getting shit-faced. Um, ahoy? No, avast ye! ARRRGGGGHHHH!

I've been saying "booty" a lot.

I've also been drinking sub-par margaritas, and am HORRIFIED by the lack of bar knowledge in such a party spot. For shame. Thank goodness for Vodka. Can't screw that up.

Did you know that people here think appropriate beach food is anything as long as it is FRIED? I want you to put yourself on a sandy beach, a light breeze cooling your skin, making you forget you haven't reapplied sunscreen for a few hours,, sun beating down... You there? Okay, now here's your paper "basket" of fried oysters and shrimp and french fries, topped with some cole slaw, heavy on the mayo. You gagging yet? Oh, and that meal costs you about 18 bones. Arrgh. (Remember: pirates!)

Let's just say we went to the grocery store and loaded up on leafy greens and fruits and have filled our suite's fridge. JEEZ. I feel like a beauty queen out here with my little-to-no fried foods body. Mmmm, apples.

There is a youth group (Baptists) from Alabama staying here, and if they wake me the fuck up with another of their "de-VOE-shunuls to Jay-Sus" at 7am on my vacation again, I'm gonna come out spouting Mormonism just to freak them out. Maybe I'll tell them I'm half-black and Mormon and watch their heads explode. (note to newbies: I am neither) Ha! They had "trust" games on the beach today. Two lines, everyone picked a name from the opposing line, then they all squeeze their eyes shut and call out the name, tring to find each other in the dark. Do you get it? Do you see how they are getting closer to Jay-Sus by seeking a friend in the dark? Mr. Stoney walked past this charade and called out, "Satan? Satan!" I love him. I muttered as I past them, "Jesus wants you to relax and have a fucking good time on this lovely earth he made you. And for you to pick up your trash. He worked for seven days, jackasses. Pick up your Yoo-Hoo bottle." We are horrible!! But not really, because we listened to their "Christian" radio stations on the drive. YIKES. Let's be glad their economy is still depressed so these "fucktards" (MR. S's fave word) can't effect policy. Much.

Wow. My period makes me cranky.

beadtific? We made drip castles in your honor today. Weee! And I've read ALL of my books, and I can't find a bookstore near here. WTF?? BOOKS. *cries* I want a friggin' book. *flips through TV Guide for thousandth time*

Our suite over-looks the "Gulfarium" (be sure to say that like "Plane*arium" from South Park. It's like you're here with us!!) so we get to see dolphins, brown pelicans, monster turtles, Great Herons... Very pleasant. Tomorrow is our last day, then the long drive home. Fortunately, we like road trips. (And we have a DVD player and headphones for the kids. No Simpsons-esque "Are we there yet?" headaches.)

Oh, my god. This is so freaking boring. Are you still here? Um, I have fic ideas, but the majority are of E/H RPS or Obi/Ani type. But I have an Mpreg fic for Dovil's ficathon, three Mope-athon fics for Sue... Uh... I have an additional bit to the Princess 99 Wampum parody with Buffy/Angel/Spike, because there isn't enough native American/Buffy AU parody fic out there, dammit.

Oh, and as I bought a permanent account today, I am going to use the HELL out of my LJ from now on. THE HELL. Out of it. Fragments are. Fun.

Holy shit. I'm frickin' going crazy. WHEEE!! And in conclusion: pirates. Arrrgh.
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