Owie because my stoopid monthlies decided to join up with the beach fun. So I'm inside waiting for the Motrin to take effect instead of flying our new, cool PIRATE SHIP KITE on the beach. Dude. Pirate ship kite. !!! Apparently Ft. Walton Beach/Destin is known for it's massive Pirate festival. o_O So that explains why we saw all the scurvey bastards and their saucy wenches downing ale everywhere we turned since we got here. Hee!! Pirates!! Seriously. Think about dressing in corsets and long skirts and layers, sitting on a boat in the 90s, and getting shit-faced. Um, ahoy? No, avast ye! ARRRGGGGHHHH!
I've been saying "booty" a lot.
I've also been drinking sub-par margaritas, and am HORRIFIED by the lack of bar knowledge in such a party spot. For shame. Thank goodness for Vodka. Can't screw that up.
Did you know that people here think appropriate beach food is anything as long as it is FRIED? I want you to put yourself on a sandy beach, a light breeze cooling your skin, making you forget you haven't reapplied sunscreen for a few hours,, sun beating down... You there? Okay, now here's your paper "basket" of fried oysters and shrimp and french fries, topped with some cole slaw, heavy on the mayo. You gagging yet? Oh, and that meal costs you about 18 bones. Arrgh. (Remember: pirates!)
Let's just say we went to the grocery store and loaded up on leafy greens and fruits and have filled our suite's fridge. JEEZ. I feel like a beauty queen out here with my little-to-no fried foods body. Mmmm, apples.
There is a youth group (Baptists) from Alabama staying here, and if they wake me the fuck up with another of their "de-VOE-shunuls to Jay-Sus" at 7am on my vacation again, I'm gonna come out spouting Mormonism just to freak them out. Maybe I'll tell them I'm half-black and Mormon and watch their heads explode. (note to newbies: I am neither) Ha! They had "trust" games on the beach today. Two lines, everyone picked a name from the opposing line, then they all squeeze their eyes shut and call out the name, tring to find each other in the dark. Do you get it? Do you see how they are getting closer to Jay-Sus by seeking a friend in the dark? Mr. Stoney walked past this charade and called out, "Satan? Satan!" I love him. I muttered as I past them, "Jesus wants you to relax and have a fucking good time on this lovely earth he made you. And for you to pick up your trash. He worked for seven days, jackasses. Pick up your Yoo-Hoo bottle." We are horrible!! But not really, because we listened to their "Christian" radio stations on the drive. YIKES. Let's be glad their economy is still depressed so these "fucktards" (MR. S's fave word) can't effect policy. Much.
Wow. My period makes me cranky.
beadtific? We made drip castles in your honor today. Weee! And I've read ALL of my books, and I can't find a bookstore near here. WTF?? BOOKS. *cries* I want a friggin' book. *flips through TV Guide for thousandth time*
Our suite over-looks the "Gulfarium" (be sure to say that like "Plane*arium" from South Park. It's like you're here with us!!) so we get to see dolphins, brown pelicans, monster turtles, Great Herons... Very pleasant. Tomorrow is our last day, then the long drive home. Fortunately, we like road trips. (And we have a DVD player and headphones for the kids. No Simpsons-esque "Are we there yet?" headaches.)
Oh, my god. This is so freaking boring. Are you still here? Um, I have fic ideas, but the majority are of E/H RPS or Obi/Ani type. But I have an Mpreg fic for Dovil's ficathon, three Mope-athon fics for Sue... Uh... I have an additional bit to the Princess 99 Wampum parody with Buffy/Angel/Spike, because there isn't enough native American/Buffy AU parody fic out there, dammit.
Oh, and as I bought a permanent account today, I am going to use the HELL out of my LJ from now on. THE HELL. Out of it. Fragments are. Fun.
Holy shit. I'm frickin' going crazy. WHEEE!! And in conclusion: pirates. Arrrgh.
I've been saying "booty" a lot.
I've also been drinking sub-par margaritas, and am HORRIFIED by the lack of bar knowledge in such a party spot. For shame. Thank goodness for Vodka. Can't screw that up.
Did you know that people here think appropriate beach food is anything as long as it is FRIED? I want you to put yourself on a sandy beach, a light breeze cooling your skin, making you forget you haven't reapplied sunscreen for a few hours,, sun beating down... You there? Okay, now here's your paper "basket" of fried oysters and shrimp and french fries, topped with some cole slaw, heavy on the mayo. You gagging yet? Oh, and that meal costs you about 18 bones. Arrgh. (Remember: pirates!)
Let's just say we went to the grocery store and loaded up on leafy greens and fruits and have filled our suite's fridge. JEEZ. I feel like a beauty queen out here with my little-to-no fried foods body. Mmmm, apples.
There is a youth group (Baptists) from Alabama staying here, and if they wake me the fuck up with another of their "de-VOE-shunuls to Jay-Sus" at 7am on my vacation again, I'm gonna come out spouting Mormonism just to freak them out. Maybe I'll tell them I'm half-black and Mormon and watch their heads explode. (note to newbies: I am neither) Ha! They had "trust" games on the beach today. Two lines, everyone picked a name from the opposing line, then they all squeeze their eyes shut and call out the name, tring to find each other in the dark. Do you get it? Do you see how they are getting closer to Jay-Sus by seeking a friend in the dark? Mr. Stoney walked past this charade and called out, "Satan? Satan!" I love him. I muttered as I past them, "Jesus wants you to relax and have a fucking good time on this lovely earth he made you. And for you to pick up your trash. He worked for seven days, jackasses. Pick up your Yoo-Hoo bottle." We are horrible!! But not really, because we listened to their "Christian" radio stations on the drive. YIKES. Let's be glad their economy is still depressed so these "fucktards" (MR. S's fave word) can't effect policy. Much.
Wow. My period makes me cranky.
beadtific? We made drip castles in your honor today. Weee! And I've read ALL of my books, and I can't find a bookstore near here. WTF?? BOOKS. *cries* I want a friggin' book. *flips through TV Guide for thousandth time*Our suite over-looks the "Gulfarium" (be sure to say that like "Plane*arium" from South Park. It's like you're here with us!!) so we get to see dolphins, brown pelicans, monster turtles, Great Herons... Very pleasant. Tomorrow is our last day, then the long drive home. Fortunately, we like road trips. (And we have a DVD player and headphones for the kids. No Simpsons-esque "Are we there yet?" headaches.)
Oh, my god. This is so freaking boring. Are you still here? Um, I have fic ideas, but the majority are of E/H RPS or Obi/Ani type. But I have an Mpreg fic for Dovil's ficathon, three Mope-athon fics for Sue... Uh... I have an additional bit to the Princess 99 Wampum parody with Buffy/Angel/Spike, because there isn't enough native American/Buffy AU parody fic out there, dammit.
Oh, and as I bought a permanent account today, I am going to use the HELL out of my LJ from now on. THE HELL. Out of it. Fragments are. Fun.
Holy shit. I'm frickin' going crazy. WHEEE!! And in conclusion: pirates. Arrrgh.
- Spock is::
relaxed - Current Music:waves crashing, the lack of baptist teenagers
'Oos dis bint, then?
- stoney321
- Laura Stone
- Hey, Don't Judge Me
Comments
I need a pirate icon.
::hugs::
Or I could switch to Baptist mode (I had to flee the pool - I couldn't take anymore) and hug thuh STUFFIN' outta yuh, in thuh nayum of the LAWRD. Praise him.
(Good thing I don't believe in hell, or surely I'd be there already.)
*hugs you back*
You know? I kinda want that shirt now. Ha ha ha!
::votes::
YAY! It's fun to hear from you!
How are you my lovely Vancouverite? OH, we would have fun peering at the half-wits here. Tell Toren there are T-shirts on these chucklenuts with catchy things like (over the biohazard symbol) Jesus: He's Contagious! And in place of the Coca-Cola logo: Jesus-Christ.
Second Commandment, Schmecond Commandment.
I'm reading my McSweeny's book and giggling my head off.
And trash!! On the pretty beach! *cries*
TEAMBUILDING EXERCISES. ON VACATION. Isn't THAT a law? Shouldn't it be?
*hugs you senseless*
Oh, beach fun. Sounds like you're still having a good time though. Seems that they always water down the drinks in places like that.
I bought a permanent account too. Why the hell for, I keep asking myself. Because it's there. Just hope the hubby doesn't look at the credit card statement and go WTF.
it's not that the drinks are watered down, ahem, quite the contrary. it's that the 'ritas are made with a mix, and it tastes like the salk has (I'm no making this up) HICKORY in it. *_* SOOOOO not tasty with tequila. No real lime juice in one of them.
Woot!! We are here forever together!! now to fill up those icon slots, eh?
*hugs you gently, gives you foot rub because of owie mommy body I'm sure you are feeling*
(psst...way to make fun of the baptists! Hee! I had a baptist friend and our friendship ended when he chased me out of a park becuase I was possesed by a demon. God, I wish I were kidding :p). But...devotional at 7am? Loud in a resort? That's just inconsiderate, and inconsiderate people make baby jesus cry.
HEATHER. Dork chub dude with faux hawk and ripped sleeves on T that reads; Jesus is my hero. White socks. Reebox high-tops. Black.
We thought we picked a place juuuuuuust expensive enough to keep out the riff raff. Ha ha ha!! It's fun to sound snobby. Arrggh.
Ooh, Destin - not just for diaper rash anymore! Or is that Desitin? Never mind. I went there for my post gradation from high school ice-cream and liquor drink week long ho-down with my four bestest buds who I've never really heard from again. Hm. Oh well. I want to point out we were not the hos. We were a mild bunch, and got down infront of our television, which had cable and MTV was new a novel. But it was pretty and yay verily much of the food was fried. And this was twenty years ago - so think of how long that fryer grease has had to set.
Pirate festival? There is much to mock in this.
Baptists. Well, I'm afraid Southern Baptists (with the exception of Mr. and Mrs. James Earl Carter) are really too easy to mock. Like shooting baptismal candidates in a barrel, really.
Once, when I used to travel for a living, I had a large insurance sales people convention in Las Vegas. Well, it turns out that the SOUTHERN BAPTISTS decided to have their annual convention in Las Vegas.
I'm suuuuure it was for the cheap hotel rooms.
Let's all pause to think about that. The Southern Baptist Convention. In Las Vegas. All that polyester and pantyhose. It's a wonder the poor things didn't just drop like flies.
I was going down the street in a cab at high noon to my hotel (which was just down the block, but it was high noon in July, and my work uniform included hose) and as I was sitting happily in air-conditioned gridlock, I saw an enormous cross coming down the sidewalk toward us. I was seriously impressed/horrified until I saw that the guy re-enacting the Dead Savior Walking stroll had fastened a small wheel to the bottom of his cross. ::rolls eyes:: This sounds like the kinda guy who'd use a skateboard to scootch to Lourdes instead of crawl.
I gotta go get me some more ginger ale. Thanks for checking in. Hope you feel better. ::hugs you and secretly tucks some chocolate in your pocket, for emergencies::
"Lord we just want to thank you for making this fine beach and bringing us here, and we hope you bless each one of us with your spirit and keep us afloat *snickers* and bring us all back here in one hour *did you hear that jimmy?* so we can pray and break sup one with another. And lord, let these children not look unto the fleshy evils that present themselves here, and remind them that this is a test, and we chose this as a test instead of sticking with the Y where there is a dress code because we want to increase our strength and devotion in you, oh, Lord, amen."
Cross on wheels!! We have that guy in Dallas, too. I called him a cheater. he got mad at me and said some VERY non-Christian things to me. hee!! I mean, Arrgh.
PS: Do you know how much I love you for Likeing the Simpson? No? A hellalot! Lol
I'm such a stinker. I kid because I love. Me. I LOVE ME. Ha ha!!
*hugs you and Jedi mind wipes the snotty stuff in my post from your head*
*hands you a deep fried margarita*
Man, if they could find the right marketing campaign, SOMEONE would top off the crappy margaritas (with a funky back-taste we FINALLY pinpointed as HICKORY) with a deep fried LIME. It will happen one day. *shudders*
Seriously: there is a hickory-salt taste to the mix they use here. EVERYWHERE. 5 different places so far, at different ends of the beach. WHY, Vinnie?? *cries*
Fried food at the beach never made that much sense to me - but it is yummy. The fried food you describe doesn't sound like good friend food though. The fried catfish I had in New Orleans was smooth and light and perfect. And I know people who drink coffee on the beach in the summer so it really does take all kinds.
By my ledger you're doing well just because you haven't started playing whack-a-baptist yet. But then you know my opinion of the Six Flags of Jesus people.
*hugs* again, just cause.
My fingers are cramping, but I've written more about the fun religious folks here up in the threads.
*hugs you HARD and tells you of the kids talking about you and comparing their new sanddollars to yours*
I finally saw RotS so I feel all in the know about stuff now.
Also, because I love you I won't hate your guts for having a permanent account. So jealous!!!
*grosses out as i am now covered in guts*
I'm so glad you saw it! yoda was the bees knees, yes?
*rubs your face in my permanent account*
*rubs your face ELSEWHERE*
heh.
We went out to Twin HarborsState Part with my Uncle Frank and Auntie Marge, from, trangely enough, Minnesota. There was some kind of DeMolay hoo-haw going on, and the baby Masons were dressed up in drag, in punk, in glam rock. Never did quite get the theme. Anyway, they were doing their team building exersizes and those challenge games that you see on Greek row at rush week , in their very costumy constumes, and Marge kept bitching about their clothes and asking what they were trying to prove, in one of those gawdawful nasal Upper Midwest voices that could crack concrete.
So, after a while, we drove into Westport and she bitched about the surfers instead.
Julia, Auntie Marge also does not approve of the kind of people who live on Capital Hill in Seattle, as we gfound out when we drove them to the cruise ship last summer
OH NO. Ambulance outside on the beach. Something has happened. Oh, the lights are off. Oh, dear. More in a bit.
Trust Games: All An Elaborate Excuse To Cop A Feel.
And YES!! The whole "blindfold the whole group and make them walk towards each other with their hands outstretched and towards firm bewbies" trick. Uh HUH! See right through that ruse.
WINTER!!! I've been boarded! Pirates are after me booty! hee hee.
Okay. But just this once. And by once I mean my LIFE.