And no, that apparently isn't the hip new slang the kids today are talking. Our big Main-coon cat is FUCKING DISGUSTING right now. So, so big. Cannot groom himself, and as such is sporting a Bob Marley hairdo. Mr. S is fighting him in the laundry room with a pair of clippers. Yikes. *plays tap for Mr. S's flesh* I hired the Stalker Neighbors next door to care for the ani-mules while we were away (She does it for a side job - it's almost ALL she talks about) so I thought, you know, she'd be good.
Came home to a FULL cat box, hungry kitties, counted Cancer Kitties pills and saw that he didn't get his meds (GRRRR!!!! Seriously - Cancer Kitty. Come on. He's the best cat ever.) and saw my fishies tank was GREEN. I was gone for 7 days. What the hell? It's a frickin' beta - about as low maintenance as you can get. Poor little Dorrie. (My kids aren't original with names, no.) Cleaned tanks, boxes, floors, checked the level of alcohol (at this point, I'm cynical) and grumbled.
For the record: Darth Widow? STILL ALIVE. And has a seriously intricate web that hypnotizes me and begs me to come closer- AHHH! I threw a Katydid in there last night and it was AWE inspiring. The Sith continue to be lightening swift and evil in their power. Heh.
We apparently left Flaaaarida in time to avoid the MASSIVE HURRICANE approaching. Whew. We had a fantastic time, I'm tan, tan, tan, and I have to give a little shoutout to my new bathing suit this season. I'm a string bikini girl from waaaay back, and then that third kid came, and dashed my hopes of continuing that. And I am NOT a halter top bathing suit girl. *shudders* Those only look good on girls with B-cups or less, truly. Otherwise your tits look GINORMOUS. And not in that good way. Bra style tops, yes. Support and sexy, who could ask for more? Now. WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY? I searched for a week and couldn't find any. I waited until I got to Flaaaaarida. Found two without padding. Glory be! Matched it up with surfer girl shorts? THE MOST PERFECT BATHING SUIT EVER. Trouble areas covered. No more hungry-butt when you stand up and walk. (You know what I'm talking about. Like your butt is eating your bathing suit.) I felt so sassy and cute in my little hibiscus print boardshorts and coordinating bikini top. Wheee! NO worry about inner/outer thigh jiggles because it's COVERED UP.
That was incredibly fascinating, yes? *snorts*
Today I have a laundry list of tasks not limited to swabbing ointment onto the gashes on my husband's body (remember? He's shaving the 22 pound
Oh, yeah, I also need to type up all of the porn I wrote while I was gone. Here's something for the regulars around here: I've been told this week that I'm the following:
*vanilla (you'll get no arguments here, except, that's a fucking LIE - I'm a total perv) Hee!
*weird (someone stumbled across Lubed: The Musical!) Heh. Good thing they didn't find Gone Went My Mind or Connie: The Musical! - good thing they EMAILED ME to tell me I'm weird. But - they did laugh.)
*SO wrong (someone clicked and read the Ewan/Hayden RPS and shook a finger at me. Uh... YOU are the one that clicked - and read - the RPS, honey. And it was GOOD RPS, if I do say so myself. Which I just did. Remind me WHY I feel compelled to post my stuff at AFF.net? Yeah, I don't know why, either.
This is coming off whiney, and I'm super happy and bouncy and energetic today (also because I weighed myself and only gained 2 pounds - All that fried food? All that drink? Let's hear it for ocean-swimming.) and there is a mini-series beginning tonight that I'm jazzed about: Into The West. Wheee!! TV is fun. I've missed it. To get you in the spirit of the wild, wild West, I'll leave you with a link to another craptastic story of mine wherein Spike, Angel and Buffy are actually Native American Indians - of the Hollywood stereotype variety and love and humor ensue - titles Princess Ninety Wampum (Squaw always under Buck).
*kisses you all*
Have a great day!! (psst to anelith: I'm heading to the bookstore later - I'll let you know how I fare!)