Laura Stone (stoney321) wrote,
Laura Stone

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Crap. And GIP.

First off, Hellziggy made me an icon depicting the FANTASTIC Christian-power shirt worn by a True Believer on my vacation. I modified it slightly to reflect the actual shirt, no offense meant. Mr. S just reminded me that we TOTALLY FORGOT to film our hilarious rendition of "Footprints" while on the beach. Naturally, we think it was hilarious. You be the judge. If I HAD captured it, it would have gone a little something like this:

Two sets of footprints on the sand, then abruptly, one set stops as the other continues. The picture would have been taken at sunset to show me staggering under the weight of LIFE at the end of the longer set of footprints, and Mr. S in a white toga sitting on a beach chair taking a long pull off a longneck beer.

One night a chick had a dream. She dreamed she was walking along the beach with The Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from her life. She noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to her, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of her life flashed before her, she looked back at the footprints in the sand. She noticed that half-way along the path of her life there was only one set of footprints. She also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest time in her life, like, OMG.

This really bothered her and she questioned the Lord about it:

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome time in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "Hey, I love you and all that, but the WHINING and MOANING. I mean, Christ. There are kids without FEET for My Sake, and you're whining that you didn't stay thin after having kids? During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I bailed out and had a cool one. God's gotta relax sometime, too."

In the real "poem," I was always amused by the line "this really bothered him." Ha ha! The arrogant SOB is "bothered" by the Lord. I love it when people have no concept of their own frickin' religion. Bothered. Ha ha!! Thanks for life and animals and happiness and baked brie and cold, cold beverages and LIFE, but I'm BOTHERED by you. *foot stomp*

I blame my headache and the fact I had a surprise visit from in-laws. What's up with y'all? Dropped film off to share my cat's humiliation.... Kids are home for summer. I'll either escape and be here a lot, or be busy and away for stretches.
Tags: funneh, religion
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