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Crap. And GIP.

First off, Hellziggy made me an icon depicting the FANTASTIC Christian-power shirt worn by a True Believer on my vacation. I modified it slightly to reflect the actual shirt, no offense meant. Mr. S just reminded me that we TOTALLY FORGOT to film our hilarious rendition of "Footprints" while on the beach. Naturally, we think it was hilarious. You be the judge. If I HAD captured it, it would have gone a little something like this:

Two sets of footprints on the sand, then abruptly, one set stops as the other continues. The picture would have been taken at sunset to show me staggering under the weight of LIFE at the end of the longer set of footprints, and Mr. S in a white toga sitting on a beach chair taking a long pull off a longneck beer.

One night a chick had a dream. She dreamed she was walking along the beach with The Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from her life. She noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to her, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of her life flashed before her, she looked back at the footprints in the sand. She noticed that half-way along the path of her life there was only one set of footprints. She also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest time in her life, like, OMG.

This really bothered her and she questioned the Lord about it:

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome time in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "Hey, I love you and all that, but the WHINING and MOANING. I mean, Christ. There are kids without FEET for My Sake, and you're whining that you didn't stay thin after having kids? During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I bailed out and had a cool one. God's gotta relax sometime, too."

In the real "poem," I was always amused by the line "this really bothered him." Ha ha! The arrogant SOB is "bothered" by the Lord. I love it when people have no concept of their own frickin' religion. Bothered. Ha ha!! Thanks for life and animals and happiness and baked brie and cold, cold beverages and LIFE, but I'm BOTHERED by you. *foot stomp*

I blame my headache and the fact I had a surprise visit from in-laws. What's up with y'all? Dropped film off to share my cat's humiliation.... Kids are home for summer. I'll either escape and be here a lot, or be busy and away for stretches.


( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 12th, 2005 06:48 pm (UTC)
The Lord replied, "Hey, I love you and all that, but the WHINING and MOANING. I mean, Christ. There are kids without FEET for My Sake, and you're whining that you didn't stay thin after having kids? During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I bailed out and had a cool one. God's gotta relax sometime, too."

Oh, dude. I'll convert to whatever religion depicts such humanity. Heeeee.

::glomps you just because::
Jun. 12th, 2005 07:23 pm (UTC)
Hee!! And NIPPLE!! Mmmm. VK is so pretty. I want to smoosh him and Hayden together and sit back with a cold beverage. Mmm.

Hey - you wrote a ficlet recently, yeah? I think I scribbled down somewhere that I needed to check it out... Gimmie a bit to get things together at my end and I'll be all over it. Like Ewan on Hayden. Heh.
Jun. 12th, 2005 07:47 pm (UTC)
Jun. 12th, 2005 08:47 pm (UTC)
I see that hee and raise you a chortle.
Jun. 12th, 2005 08:13 pm (UTC)
Cool. :)
I just whipped that one up quick after reading your post & comments. It hopped into my brain & refused to leave until it was released to the wild! Because, you know, heaven forbid I should get to work on making my 50 new user pics. :)
LJ land is stuck with us PERMANENTLY now!!!! Mwah hah hah!
Jun. 12th, 2005 08:48 pm (UTC)
OMG, I wanted to buy the shirt off that gross boy's back. But not really because of the gross factor. I'm twelve.

FOREVAH!!! *rubs hands with glee, shops for icons*
Jun. 12th, 2005 10:08 pm (UTC)
I finally made me a photography icon! YAY!
Jun. 12th, 2005 08:17 pm (UTC)
There are kids without FEET for My Sake

For My Sake. LOL

God + a cool one=OTP4eva!!!!!111

::waits for lightening strike::
Jun. 12th, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC)
(Psst: God isn't real. Um, niether is the Easter Bunny, I'm sorry to say. Lightening is caused by weather patterns/pressure/electricity. You're safe with me. Except for this axe I'm weilding.) AHHHH!

Jun. 12th, 2005 08:49 pm (UTC)
Yeah, that lightning's gonna strike anytime soon. Hehehe. So funny. Nice new icon.

A surprise visit from the in-laws would give anyone a headache, even if you like them. Eeek. Kids home for the summer? And so it begins.
Jun. 12th, 2005 08:50 pm (UTC)
And so it does. Everyone is JUUUUUST going to bed. But. Hopefully that means they'll sleep in. Right? RIGHT??!!?
Jun. 12th, 2005 09:30 pm (UTC)
Have you ever read the Onion article Bullshit, Jesus, Those Are Obviously My Footprints? It's hysterical and this similar funny bit o' blasphemy reminded me of it.
Jun. 12th, 2005 10:21 pm (UTC)
I hadn't, but did a search and found it h e r e .

HA HA HA!!! God, working for The Onion would be a DREAM come true. God, that's a funny title.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 13th, 2005 06:55 am (UTC)
Re: *icon fear*
MUCH better. Needed lots and lots of sleep and icy cold water before bedtime. Thanks!
Jun. 13th, 2005 12:24 am (UTC)
Like, OMG, why didn't you film your version? Then you could show it on TV as a PSA of some kind to conteract all those Church of Jesus Christ commercials and the "Got Jesus?" ones...although the one where the dude is bungee jumping and his cord breaks and then it flashes up "Got Jesus?" is hilarious.

Btw, icon is making me and Kirsty laugh hysterically as we sit here.
Jun. 13th, 2005 06:56 am (UTC)
HEE!! And yours works with mine so nicely... Hee!
Jun. 13th, 2005 05:41 am (UTC)
Awww! Your Jeebus is teh best!
Now you got me all fixin' to go to church or something:)
Jun. 13th, 2005 06:56 am (UTC)
NO!! No church! You could sleep in! Mmmm. Sleep.

Hey! WHere's this fic, missy?
Jun. 14th, 2005 07:17 am (UTC)
Emailed it last nite:)
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 13th, 2005 06:58 am (UTC)
I'm going to laminate it with a pic of a sunset on a piece of driftwood.

Mr. S has to watch the top of his feet, too. Not me. I just get brown, brown. No burns on me.

Picnic! We're doing that tonight with my girlfriend and her two kids since our husbands are going to be out of town. Wheee!!
Jun. 13th, 2005 09:23 am (UTC)
You bother me. In my pants.
Jun. 13th, 2005 09:37 am (UTC)
You make my pants tight.
Jun. 13th, 2005 02:03 pm (UTC)
Dude, it is all about the pants with us.

I miss you! Why do I not talk with you anymore? Are you missing? *confused face*
Jun. 14th, 2005 07:05 am (UTC)
I miss you, too!! My schedule's all wonky now that the kidlets are out of school. Activities begin tomorrow, so that should free me up. I need to write/chat/visit/laugh with my droogs again.
*sad, impatient face*
Jun. 14th, 2005 11:04 am (UTC)
*is a droog!* *adores you* *pines for you!!*
Jun. 13th, 2005 03:45 pm (UTC)
Hee! I love your icon, and your thoughts on God. Please start a church now so I can join.
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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