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Would go here if I wanted it to.

Well, my Anakin/Obi-Wan fic is just going to need another chapter. I didn't get everything I wanted to say in one. But this is a good thing because I figured out more that I didn't know I wanted to say. Huh? I know. I need sleep. As always, thank you to crazydiamondsue for letting me bounce ideas off her, and her scribbling the proper syntax on it before it bounces back. And this isn't even her fandom! I'm buying her a cake pony.

Warnings, Disclaimers, Etc: Male sex happens. As in, two of them. Together. And this is about as angsty as I can get. Made a frowny face at one part and everything. Adult themes, hints of child abuse, and I don't deny that Anakin had(s) feelings for Padmé. If any of that bothers you, you should move along, no harm, no foul. I consider the movies canon, and do not know/use any details from the books, games, etc. George Lucas is the keeper of knowledge, I'm just helping him out a bit. :-D

Prologue - Wait to read if you don't like flashbacks
Part One


Obi-Wan felt his heart race. He steeled himself, gave Anakin a squeeze on the shoulder and what he hoped was a fatherly smile and turned away. "Anakin, we are forbidden attachments."

"That's not true. Master."

Obi-Wan stopped walking away, but did not turn to face his Padawan.

"I was given to you. Are you not... attached to me?"

"Anakin, that is something entirely different."

"Is it?"

Obi-Wan could feel that Anakin was close behind him, that Anakin had his hand outstretched, moving over the air close to Obi-Wan's shoulder blade. "I... I can't help the way I feel, Master."

Obi-Wan whirled around and caught Anakin's wrist in his hand. "But you must! You must control how you feel! Don't you see? Anakin, it is forbidden!"

Anakin clenched his jaw and searched Obi-Wan's face. "Qui-Gon."

Obi-Wan squeezed the wrist in his hand harder, felt the bones grind against each other. "Don't."

"Obi-Wan. I see. I... understand. You loved him. Didn't you?"

Obi-Wan blinked several times, realized he was still clutching Anakin's wrist and dropped it, lowered his eyes and sighed quietly, "Yes. But after he... died, after I took you to be my Padawan Learner, I realized it was just worship. It was only a young boy's infatuation. In time," Obi-Wan straightened his cloak and removed all vestiges of emotion from his face, "you will realize that is all you feel, as well."


Anakin took one step towards Obi-Wan, secretly pleased when the older man took a step backward.

"No. It isn't something silly and dismissive."

Obi-Wan looked into those dark eyes, filled with so much passion and rage and - . He backed against the wall, not realizing that Anakin had manuevered him there. A moment's pride in his Padawan's strategy coupled with shame at being driven like cattle.

Anakin raised a hand and placed it on Obi-Wan's chest gently. "It isn't a young boy's infatuation. What it is," Anakin leaned in, mouth to Obi-Wan's ear, "is mutual."


The hand on Obi-Wan's chest pressed more firmly, slid upwards over collar bone, fingertips lightly tracing the tender flesh on Obi-Wan's neck. Lips moved softly over bare skin behind an ear. "It's mutual, and you don't need to deny it any longer." Soft kisses on sinewy muscle as Obi-Wan helplessly tilted his head in offering.

"Anakin... No..."

A strong, battle scarred hand tangled itself into soft brown hair, applied gentle pressure. Obi-Wan turned his face and met Anakin's, eyes pleading, lips parted. A whisper, "Master."

Anakin turned himself and shifted so his body was directly in front of his teacher. He lowered his lips, tentatively at first, then gripped Obi-Wan's head more firmly while slanting his head to deepen the kiss. Obi-Wan's beard was rough and tickled his upper lip. And then Obi-Wan kissed him back and then everything was forgotten but the sensation of lips moving under his. Anakin ran his hand from the top of Obi-Wan's head to its base, tugging on long hair to pull the head back against the wall. He was pressing so hard against Obi-Wan's mouth that their teeth clacked together. Obi-Wan pulled away with a gasp.

"Anakin... We shouldn't --"

"Shhh." Anakin dipped at the knee, rubbing his torso against Obi-Wan's as he left a trail of kisses under his jawline, where Obi-Wan's beard ended. "It's okay. I know you want this." Anakin's hand left Obi-Wan's hair and snaked around his Master's waist, broad hand clasped Obi-Wan's back and held him closely. "I need you. This."

Anakin pulled back and let Obi-Wan see the nakedness in his eyes, the raw emotion. Let it fill Obi-Wan, he who had denied himself all feeling. Let Obi-Wan understand. The older man had kept his hands fisted at his side. His chest heaved, his mind filled with the raw power of his Padawan's need (love) and grabbed the boy's waist. This time, as their lips met, it was Obi-Wan who held on. It was Obi-wan who moved their bodies forward with need. It was Obi-Wan who whimpered as capable hands loosened belts and then slid under the rough linen of his overshirt to nervously touch the lithe torso there.

Obi-Wan broke their kiss, panting, brought his hand slowly to his face, and touched moisture on his cheek. Anakin clenched his jaw, puffed out his chest and tried to pretend the tears on his face weren't there.

"I... need you, Master." His voice broke, and Anakin turned his head, looked away, shamed with the nakedness of his need and desire.

Obi-Wan crossed the gulf that lay between them, all two steps of it, and took Anakin's hand in his own, looked at it, stroked the boy's hand with his thumb, saw all of the small battle scars there, some gained from saving him, took the other hand, the robotic one, into his warm, human hand and held tightly as Anakin flinched. Obi-Wan stroked his thumb over the smooth metal, then looked up, a smile on his face and said, "When do you ever not need something, Anakin?"

Anakin laughed softly, looked down, still unable to make eye contact, and let out a small whine (sigh) as Obi-Wan used his grip on the boy's hands to tug him forward and into his embrace.

Need. Obi-Wan thought he understood that emotion. Need was what gave the Jedi their duty. The citizens of the Republic needed them. The Jedi were needed in the fight against the dark forces that wanted to destroy civilization and all things within it. Until this moment in his life, Obi-Wan considered need to be something passive. Something that simply existed and required his action without thought. As Anakin touched him, held him, mewled into his ear, and stripped him of his clothing, he began to understand how need could consume. He couldn't begin to comprehend how Anakin could carry so much raw emotion inside. Just taking in the thoughts his Padawan was sending him was almost more than Obi-Wan thought he could bear. And still the boy wanted more.

Anakin removed Obi-Wan's tunic, had unbuckled his own belt, removed his black leather vest, unwrapped his own tunic, then took Obi-Wan back into his warm embrace, curling his shoulders forward to ensure every inch of his skin was touching Obi-Wan's. He wrapped his arms tightly around his teacher and sank down, cradling Obi-Wan's weight in his capable arms, so that they lay on the floor, side-by-side. Anakin rolled over and on top of Obi-Wan, legs still to the side. He ran his hands through the soft hair just beginning to show grey at the temples, stroked the fine hairs of Obi-Wan's eyebrows with his thumbs, kissed the corners of Obi-Wan's eyes, just now beginning to crack and wrinkle with age. Throughout his Padawan's ministrations, Obi-Wan lay still, hands laying dormant (unsure) on his torso. The solemnity with which Anakin touched him broke something inside of him. It was beyond compassion for the broken man pleading with him, moving over him, but it wasn't anything Obi-Wan was able to name. Not yet.

Obi-Wan traced the hard belly above him with the backs of his fingers, marveled at the soft, unblemished skin, and closed his eyes as Anakin rested their foreheads together. Anakin let out a shuddery breath as Obi-Wan ran both hands up and across Anakin's chest, then down the boy's sides. Anakin began to move slowly, barely keeping their skin apart as his torso moved up and down his teacher's. Cords of muscle stood out on his forearms. Anakin slid one leg over and settled himself between Obi-Wan's legs. The rough fabric of Obi-Wan's trousers coupled with the thick leather of Anakin's breeches was maddening. Anakin captured Obi-Wan's mouth for another bruising kiss, tongue stroking tongue with urgency, breath coming in quick, wrenching gasps so as to prologue the kiss, the contact.

Obi-Wan let an anxious hand slide between their bodies. As Anakin felt the back of his teacher's hand stroke him, he let out a half-sob, half whine and began trailing kisses down Obi-Wan's chest and belly. Anakin braced himself on his metallic hand and used his right hand to undo the fastenings wrapped about his waist, then loosened the tie at his master's waist in kind. Kisses trailed down, alongside, on the fine hair of Obi-Wan's belly. Obi-Wan laid a trembling hand on Anakin's dark brown curls, then gripped tight as hot breath coursed over his -


Obi-Wan opened his eyes, blinked and looked down his chest at the face of his best friend, confused. Anakin had worked his body down between the older man's legs, elbows resting on either side of Obi-Wan's hips. Dark blue eyes shimmered with intense emotion. "Let me show you. Let me... love you." Anakin laid his cheek on the hard bone of Obi-Wan's hip, arms clutching to hold the man tight. Obi-Wan didn't understand (he did) but knew he was expected to give permission for something. He dragged his nails up the boy's shoulders, through Anakin's hair, and whispered, "Please."

Anakin gave a small nod without lifting his cheek, placed a chaste kiss where hip bone and groin meet, and slid downward, his cheek stroking the hardness there. Anakin held the base of his lover's erection, then slid full, soft lips over the tip, stroking the underside with the flat of his rough tongue. Obi-Wan shuddered and jumped slightly upwards. Anakin raised his head, placed a kiss on Obi-Wan's inner thigh and murmured, "It's okay. It gets better. Let me do this for you." And whispered even more quietly, "For me."

Obi-Wan was unsure of himself, where to put his hands, his legs... He tilted his head to the side and watched for a moment. Brown curls that hid a face he knew bobbed up and down. Anakin made quiet, low noises from the back of his throat, that caused vibrations to race up Obi-Wan's body. He knew that people did this, understood the mechanics of the act, but had never experienced anything such as this. He rubbed his hands over his face, moaning and arching, feeling a moment's humiliation at the sounds he made. He let one hand fall helplessly to his side; Anakin's hand found its way there. Laced their fingers together. Gave a squeeze as reassurance. Obi-Wan felt a pressure build up in him that made his skin feel too tight, his limbs felt useless, he was itching to move to do something, anything. He bent his leg, thigh laying on warm skin, then let his leg fall useless to the floor again. The hand holding Anakin's clamped down as the pressure built up in his belly. Obi-Wan shook his hand free, dug both hands into the boy's hair and moved. Slowly at first, and then moved his hips up and down with greater force as his body demanded. Anakin braced himself on his forearms and relaxed his lips.

"By the gods... Anakin! I can't help -"

Obi-Wan threw his head back against the floor, eyes tightly shut, mouth open in his agony and confusion. He kept his hands in the boy's curls, and only let them relax as he felt the last of his spasms die. Anakin was still moving slowly up and down, tightening his mouth as he swallowed. Obi-Wan threw an arm over his face, feeling shame at his lack of control. Anakin moved up and to the side of his lover, the hand that was whole moved in slow circles over well-defined muscles, now damp from their activity. Anakin placed sweet, tender kisses along the older man's cheek, ear, neck.

"Do not feel shame, Master. Please." Anakin buried his face in the crook of Obi-Wan's arm and attempted to control his breathing. "Please. No more shame."

Obi-Wan let his arm fall away and land on the boy's broad back. "No, Anakin, no. I only... How am I to train you when I cannot control myself? I don't know that I'll be able to control myself where you are concerned from now on."

"Don't say such things, Master. I... I wouldn't be anything if you hadn't come into my life."

Obi-Wan looked with new eyes at his Padawan. "I do believe there is gratitude on both sides." He rolled to his side and trapped Anakin under his body. He leaned over, held the boy's face in one hand, thumb stroking wetness from the delicate skin under dark blue eyes and kissed him. Later, as they laid on the floor fighting off sleep, Obi-Wan would realize the words murmured from his Padawan's lips were, "I love you."

TBC ~ I promise. See? I'm a girl of my word. Part Three here.


( 36 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 6th, 2005 04:17 pm (UTC)
ok haven't read the fic yet (I will!), but I just needed to say: I love love love how you say "huh?" IT IS THE CUTEST THING EVAR.

I want to squish you with hugs.
Jul. 6th, 2005 04:21 pm (UTC)
I want to be squished! Seriously, Mar, this chapter made me sad. Poor Anakin!!

YOU are the keeyootest thing evah and I want to bake you a pony cake with healthy yeast (or whatever it was called) sprinkles on it!!
... - marlo - Jul. 6th, 2005 04:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jul. 6th, 2005 04:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 6th, 2005 04:44 pm (UTC)
*flails helplessly*

Jul. 6th, 2005 04:51 pm (UTC)
*plucks at lint on sleeve*
Yes, yes, I know.

*spazzes when no one is looking*
... - winterlive - Jul. 6th, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 6th, 2005 05:02 pm (UTC)
Man. Obi-Wan being all clueless and helpless totally got me. Woah. Very good!
Jul. 6th, 2005 05:18 pm (UTC)
Heh. I even see it that way in my RPS, too. :-D

Thank you very much, by the way!

And your icon just about breaks my heart.
... - lennongirl - Jul. 7th, 2005 02:37 am (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 6th, 2005 05:07 pm (UTC)
I have so much love for this...excellent job
and when I saw the TBC, I grinned so much.
I cant wait for more!
Jul. 6th, 2005 05:19 pm (UTC)
Well... thank you!! There is definitely more. :-D
Jul. 6th, 2005 05:45 pm (UTC)
::bursts into tears::

Damn, girl. You've done it again.

::holds you, obi and ani sooo carefuly and loves::

Jul. 6th, 2005 06:11 pm (UTC)
They are SO tender, my boys. *cries a little more*

You do realize that Connor and Anakin would understand each other. A lot.

*loves you so, so much*
... - beadattitude - Jul. 6th, 2005 06:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Jul. 6th, 2005 06:13 pm (UTC)
Shh. *pets you* It's coming. I... there ended up being more in this bit than I planned. So I had to break it into two parts.

*holds you tight*

It is SO a kink of mine, too. Boy hands. Strong, broad, scarred, sinewy hands being used in a tender manner. *cries more for Anakin*
Jul. 6th, 2005 06:20 pm (UTC)
"What it is," Anakin leaned in, mouth to Obi-Wan's ear, "is mutual."

GAH! *flails*

The hotness! Goddamn. I need to go shower. Like, NOW.
Jul. 6th, 2005 06:31 pm (UTC)
oh my GOD I am so glad you liked that part! Anakin is fucking hot. I mean, people, if he's going to turn to the dark side, there had to be a little bit in there already, yeah? I like predatory!Anakin as much as Obsessive/Stalker!Anakin. Mmmmm.

Jul. 6th, 2005 07:03 pm (UTC)
"Cords of muscle stood out on his forearms." *fan self*I have a thing about forearms, and sad angsty boys.
*cries* Poor Ani so sad he just needs love.
*puts the Brotherhood in DVD player to cheer up*
*see boys frolicking in boxer briefs but is still sad for Ani*
David DeCotueau is no match for you. Now I'm sad.
Jul. 6th, 2005 08:17 pm (UTC)
*cries with you*

It's SAD! I know! But they'll always have this... And the next chapter I'm wrapping up. :-D

Thank you so much!
... - hlglne - Jul. 6th, 2005 09:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jul. 6th, 2005 10:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 6th, 2005 09:26 pm (UTC)
Whoa. I don't know who to feel more sorry for, Anakin or Obi-wan. At least Anakin had his mother, then Padme. Obi obviously had no one (almost). Now he has Anakin. So right, so right.

I always thought that George's take on how a Jedi should act to be total bullshit. They're not fucking priests, but he tends to write them that way. It's probably good that you haven't read any of the books, which takes a different view of the next generation of Jedi. I still love George though. Look what he gave all of us.

And I love your fic! It's so tender and touching. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Jul. 6th, 2005 10:17 pm (UTC)
I haven't read the books, mainly because I'm afraid of how freaking technical they can be, and I think they don't really deal with things I'm interested. Although I believe Leia has twins, right?

Hmmm. George (not that he's a genius, but he is the Creator) doesn't approve of the books and games, so...

Yeah, I see them as monks, too. But. Biology will win out eeeeeverytime, IMO. And thank god, yeah?

I'm so glad you are enjoying this (or get sad by it - that means I'm doing my job, right?) *smooch*
Jul. 6th, 2005 09:43 pm (UTC)
MMM!!!!!!! Relaxed his lips. Hot hot hot! Obi-wan out of control! *snickers* I do so love it!
Jul. 6th, 2005 10:18 pm (UTC)
Mmmm. I love it too. Wheee! (Thank you, again!)
Jul. 7th, 2005 05:30 am (UTC)
I really enjoyed that. Forgive me for lack of sense, my head is full of snot. But i loved the fact that Obi was the one who didnt know what was happening, that Anakin took control but it wasnt all cliched hot-hot-hump-hump-and im done, it was a build up that was definately worth it. I look forward to future installments. This is fucking brilliant... ahem, this is f*cking brilliant *G*
Jul. 7th, 2005 06:09 am (UTC)
Just woke up to hear the news in London (it's just morning where I am) No wonder you're full of snot! *hugs*

Thanks for coming over and leaving fb. I'm not much for writing the hump-hump stuff. I have no problem reading it on occassion, but... I like to call my style "thinky porn" Heh.

And you can say fucking over here. :-D (Thanks, again, and I'll be hoping for the best for you Londoners!)
... - nereem - Jul. 7th, 2005 06:18 am (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 7th, 2005 09:26 am (UTC)
"That's not true. Master."

[/end "Master" kink]...except NOT because it keeps coming up...*pant pant*]

This is so intense and desperate and HOT AS GUH!

"It isn't a young boy's infatuation. What it is," Anakin leaned in, mouth to Obi-Wan's ear, "is mutual."

*drools and whimpers and otherwise makes a spectacle of herself before giving up the trying for coherency and iz simply ded*
Jul. 8th, 2005 06:22 am (UTC)
Heee!! I'm glad you liked this! I'll take that wibble and give you a wraggle. (psst: last chapter is up now.)
Jul. 7th, 2005 12:36 pm (UTC)
I love reading your stuff, because you always make me see things from a different perspective. I've always thought Obi(Ewan) would be the one in control of any romantic situation between him and Ani(Hayden). But you turn it all around and make it seem like the natural thing. You make it so believable.
Jul. 8th, 2005 06:23 am (UTC)
Yeah, right? And I think everyone sees it the way you do, too. But I couldn't shake how demanding Anakin was. How forceful... So. FOr me, this way makes sense.

But as far as fic goes? Just get them together. :-D

Thank you Leeanna. Thats a huge compliment. :)
Jul. 8th, 2005 12:06 am (UTC)
Gahhhh, I love it when scenes such as this are written in such a way! It was *so* refreshing the fact that Obi was...embarressed? Didn't know what to do? He *was* innocent! And for that it made their love even better.
Jul. 8th, 2005 06:25 am (UTC)
Thank you! I just couldn't get the idea out of my head that he was a man of 30 (ish) who had never... biologically realized his potential? Heh. And George underscored their actions with those of monks or priests, so... *sigh*

Poor, unsure Obi-Wan.
... - sore_de_ii_no - Jul. 8th, 2005 11:25 am (UTC) - Expand
( 36 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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